Dear Lump

Dear Louise the Lump:

Just a heads up. Tomorrow is your eviction day. You've stuck around for almost 4 months now.

I'm sure you've been hoping that I'd eventually grow fond of you. Wished that we'd become the best of friends. Obviously, we haven't.

You grow at a ridiculous rate. You are approximately 8 times the size you were when I first discovered you. You're like a little parasite, feeding on my finger, my nutrients, perhaps even my blood? You started out about the size of a piece of pea gravel. Now you are roughly the size of a small grape.

You are, to put it simply, annoying. I can't grip anything with any amount of strength or you start protesting. Any time I smack my hand on something, you scream in anger.

Honestly, I'm quite tired of you. And as much as I fear the block they'll be inserting in my armpit tomorrow morning, I'm relieved that you'll finally be gone. I am not looking forward to having my hand stitched & bandaged for two weeks, but if that's what it takes to get rid of you, I'll suffer.

Sincerely,
Cara


For those of you wondering what the frack I'm talking about...I have a ganglion cyst on my left middle finger. Conveniently, it is getting to the point where it is sometimes hard to bend my hand into a fist, so when I'm driving & that middle finger makes it's way into an upright position, I just say "Sorry, it has a mind of it's own!"

I was totally going to link to a picture of a ganglion cyst but all the ones I found? Just made me sick to my stomach. That was definitely the wrong thing to do the day before the surgery. Perhaps if I'm not feeling too grossed out when it's all over tomorrow I'll take a picture of it. Don't hold your breath, though.