The many faces of Roo...

Why I don't get naps-Part Deux

Please excuse the gratuitious baby nudity. Blame it on my lazy, unsupervising 'ol self that I dared to try, yet again, to take a nap. It should be noted...this incident occured a mere 15 minutes after the fake poop scheme I blogged about yesterday.

Oh & while I'm apologizing? I am honestly, truly sorry if my accent makes your ears bleed. It's been years since I'd heard my voice recorded & I died a little inside when I heard just how bad my accent had gotten. You can't say I didn't warn you...

Around the World in 80 Clicks

The lovely Jenni from Oscarelli tagged me for the Around the World in 80 Clicks meme. The idea is to link mommy bloggers all over the world in a kind of virtual, international play date.

The rules are to list five things you love about parenthood and link back to the meme's authors, Catherine at Her Bad Mother and David at It's Not a Lecture so they know you need to be added to the departure lounge. Then, you need to tag five other mommy bloggers, some from your country and some from others. David is hooking everyone up - see the HBM post I've linked to above for details.

So, without further ado...here are my 5:

• I love how no one else can comfort my babes like I can. Picking them up, holding them tight & having them snuggle their faces into my shoulder like it is the safest place in the world makes my heart smile. Knowing that just the simple act of holding them, patting their back & whispering a few sweet words into their ear can turn things around for them is a gratifying feeling.
  
• I adore chunky, dimply baby butts. With two under two, I get my fill of baby butts on a daily basis. Bear is cursed blessed with the cutest little baby bubble butt you've ever seen. Roo, who has been a grumpy old man since the day he was born, has the teeny tiny 'ol man hiney to accompany the personality.
  
• Cuddles & kisses. Both babes co-slept for their first few months. There is absolutely nothing in the world like having a warm little bundle snuggled into your arms, hearing that contented sigh, & having that tiny little fist sputter around until it lands on your cheek to give you a loving stroke. And when they learn to reciprocate (or even initiate) a slobbery little kiss? It makes my day.
  
• I love how motherhood has changed me, inside & out. It's made me stop to appreciate the little things, made the "big picture" snap into focus, hold those closest a little closer. It's made me appreciate myself, my strengths & weaknesses, more than I had ever done in the past. It's made me appreciate the generations of mothers before me, their hard work, sacrifice, & unconditional love for their own children.
  
• Lastly, I love how motherhood has changed my relationship with the Doctor. We had an amazing marriage before the babes but now? I don't know that I could put words on paper as to how I feel about my husband & the bond we have. I was once told to think long & hard about when having children would "be right" for our relationship because adding to the family dynamics can make or break a relationship. Not that I ever doubted our relationship, but bringing these two beauties into our lives has definitely "made" us.
  

And now for my 5:

• Denise at A Cautionary Talespin
  
• Kyooty at KyootyCenter
  
• Ali at Momma Ali
  
• Peggy at Stir Crazy in the Suburbs
  
• Beth at Momma Bear
  

RTT-I'm Over It

• I'm over introducing Keely every friggin' week. Seriously. If you people don't know who she is by now, you're probably not going to jump on the bandwagon any time soon.
  
• OK. I was kidding about that. I may be a cranky old hag when I don't get my sleep & coffee, but I'm not that mean.
  
• I'm over this whole Swine Flu junk. That's it. I'm just over it. I know, it is a big deal. And people are suffering. But this is exactly why I stay away from the national news-they latch on to something & ignore everything else that is happening.
  
• I'm pretty sure 2/3 of the blogs I read this morning made some type of reference to the Swine Flu & how they were also tired of hearing about it.
  
• I'm over the cold weather. I do not appreciate 86 degrees one day, running my AC, then waking up the next morning to the house being a chilly 62 degrees & having to turn the heater back on.
  
• I'm over the whole 2 year old attitude, defiance, & selective hearing stage. I'm over having to repeat the same phrase 17 times until it finally sinks in that yes, I really do mean GET OFF THE TABLE RIGHT NOW.
  
• I'm over not being able to turn my back for 2 seconds. The post about my failed naptime yesterday? That was just the tip of the iceberg. I've got a video to post later showing what Bear did with the potty. WHAT is it with that girl & her pee??
  
• And while I'm over not being able to turn my back? I sat down for 5 minutes this morning to check my email. When I got up, I discovered she'd found a mini bottle of shampoo, poured the entire thing onto her legs & was trying to rub it in like lotion.
  
• I'm over the Doctor working 6 days a week.
  
• I'm over this stupid tummy pooch & not having any clothes that fit. Dear Old Landlord-please hurry up & mail me the check for my pro-rated rent from April so I can go buy some new clothes.
  

And there you have it. The things I'm over. Now hop on over to Keely's, grab the button, link up & get random.

Quotable? Me? Seriously?

Seriously, ya'll? Not only am I posting twice in one day, but I got featured!

I never would have imagined anyone would think that what I had to say was of any importance, but apparently some do! Or, at least, GreenJello thinks so!

She thought what I had to say was good enough to get featured over at Blogtations.

Thanks, GreenJello!

Oh. No. She. Did. Not.

Dear Kansas Child Protection Services:

I'd like to file a formal complaint against my mother.

This morning, after deciding we'd woken up too early once again, she decided SHE needed a nap! Selfish, right?

You won't believe what she did next. After putting my brother down for a nap, she told me I needed "quiet time." Sir, I'm not sure if you are aware of what quiet time entails, but let me assure you. It is borderline torture.

First, she put up the dreaded gate. The one that keeps me from entering the living room. Next, she had the nerve to turn the TV on in my playroom. Seriously-who puts a TV in their kids' playroom? As if it wasn't bad enough to be stuck inside a room filled with all of my favorite toys, she then dared to turn it to my current favorite TV show: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I don't know if you've ever sat through the entire 25 minute length of this show, but for a 2 year old? It's miserable.

Don't you worry, though, Mr. State Officer. I found a way to get her back.

You see, since our bedroom & playroom are all the way on the other side of the house now, in addition to putting up a baby gate, my mom decided she needed to use a baby monitor as well. She doesn't think I pay much attention, but I've put many hours of study into this contraption. I've figured out that if I make noise, she can hear it from wherever she's at & the noise usually sends her running.

I decided I could handle being good for about 10 minutes. I bided my time carefully. I suffered through my TV show for a few minutes, played with a few toys, and found my stickers & promptly plastered them all over the walls. After giving my mom some time to fall asleep, I walked out into the hall between the playroom & my bedroom. I knew this would work, you see, because when she put my brother down for a nap, she didn't shut the door all the way. (Plus she made the mistake of leaving a toy in the hallway.)

Once I got settled with the toy, I started to play loudly. Right at the volume level where the monitor would pick up my noise. The purpose behind this was to make just enough noise to make my mom's half-asleep conscience wonder what the heck was going on. Once I figured she was half-way awake, I proceeded to stick my foot into an opening on the toy. Oh Sir, don't be too concerned. In all actuality, there is plenty of room for my foot in this toy. Anyways, back to the story. I stuck my foot in the toy & started screaming "Ow! Ow! Owwweeeee Momma. HURT!" When those first few rounds of shrieks didn't send her running, I decided to throw in a much feared word around our house. I picked back up with the Ow's & towards the end of the refrain, threw in a few "Uh oh. Poo-poo"'s as well.

Sir, I'm not sure if you've ever seen my mom. Yes, she may be on the thin side, but she is incredibly unathletic & honestly, downright clumsy. With this in mind, you should know that I often take advantage of these facts & purposely do something to make her run, just so I can enjoy the show. So, once she heard the dreaded "P-Word" across the monitor, a-runnin' she came.

So, Sir, I'll wrap this letter up. Naptime for my mom didn't go over so well, I'm still bitter about being forced to play with my toys & watch a show I love, and now, mom is punishing me for my fake injury-poop scheme I pulled in order to wake her up.

This is a valid reason for writing you a letter, is it not?

Sincerely,
Bear

Bear's Story

As Bear approaches her 2nd birthday, I sit here dumbfounded, wondering how she could be two already.

If things had gone according to THE PLAN (of course it's in caps...doesn't everyone have THE PLAN??), we'd probably just now be thinking about starting a family. What fun would it be, though, to stick with THE PLAN?

A month after our 1st anniversary, that time of the month came. And then it went. And I double checked my pill pack. Yep...everything was in place (or I guess in this case, missing), just like it should have been.

I gave it another week because even after getting on the Pill, my body still had its own opinions about what should be going on. And then overnight, my booblets exploded. So I promptly went out & helped raise Clear Blue Easy's stock prices.

We made the expected phone calls, scheduled doctor's appointments, all the usual. And then about a week later, I started bleeding. Off we went to the ER where I was violated by what The Doctor lovingly calls "the Death Wand". They didn't want to talk about it, rather they said they'd send the results to my doctor & he'd be in touch.

One day later & I found myself in the hospital, being prepped for a D&C.

After my follow-up a month later, The Doctor (husband...not my actual doctor) asked me how I felt about trying again. Even though he still had 2 years of school left, he'd fallen so in love with the idea of a baby in the 2 short weeks we knew about it, he was prepared to make the sacrifice.

Seriously? Baby-makin' isn't so fun when it's planned.

My pregnancy was mostly uneventful. We had a nice, long 3 month worry when the US Tech thought she saw fluid backing up in Bear's kidneys. We had to wait until I was 7 months pregnant to have a repeat US. Apparently, girl just had to pee.

The night before my final appointment, I got a phone call no one ever wants to get. One of my close friends had delivered her son a week before Bear was born. She took him home & was back in the ER that night. She called to tell me he'd passed away.

To say I was a nervous wreck, a mess, is an understatement. I cried the entire hour & a half drive to the doctor's office. I cried through the entire appointment. I couldn't stop shaking, stop asking "What if?"

The Doctor couldn't have been more supportive, a better advocate for me & his soon-to-be baby girl. As soon as we checked into the hospital, he took my first nurse outside & explained the situation. He proceeded to do this with every new nurse we had.

My doctor had told me he'd be by at 6:30am to break my water. At 6:15, I woke up The Doctor & told him to go get a nurse because I thought I might have wet the bed. Oh my was I a wimp the 1st time around. I was barely at a 2, begging for the epidural.

Labor with Bear went surprisingly fast. My water broke at 6:15, I had the epidural by 8:30, I pushed for less than an hour, & Bear made her screaming arrival at 3:00pm on the dot.

3:00pm. When I checked into the hospital the night before, the last I'd been told was that the funeral for sweet baby boy was to be at 3:00pm that day.

We have a DVD of the first few minutes after Bear's arrival. They show the clock, then show Bear being placed on my chest. Every time I watch the DVD, I hurt through that part because my tears? They were not simply tears of joy at meeting my sweet daughter. Mixed in are tears of sorrow for my friend, tears of sorrow for the sweet boy I will never get to visit again, tears of absolute terror because I am fearful of the unknown.

The Doctor did the same routine with every nurse who came in contact with Bear. Told them the story, told them my fears. We could not have asked for a better team of nurses to be taking care of me & Bear. They were so thoughtful, so kind, so very understanding. The Doctor was allowed to go with Bear every time she was taken out of our room (we didn't realize this was unusual until we were at a different hospital with Roo, where Doctor wasn't allowed to accompany Roo when they took him out of our room). (Silly side note: The best nurse we had for Bear? Anyone remember Ross the Intern from The Tonight Show? Yeah. He could have been his twin brother.)

Bear's first month was a blur. I try to think back, to remember what the time was like, but all I come up with is a fuzzy screen. The first month of her life, I was so on edge, so fearful, that I couldn't relax, couldn't enjoy my sweet, quiet moments with her.

As happy as I was to have my precious girl in my arms, I was so very angry. Angry at the circumstances, angry that sweet baby boy had passed. Angry that I felt like I wasn't able to enjoy Bear's first few days because I was so scared. Angry that I couldn't enjoy my first moments with her because I couldn't stop worrying. And then I felt ashamed. Who was I to be angry when I had a healthy baby girl in my arms?

So that's the story of Bear. Of my feisty, spunky, sassy, back-talking, non-listening almost two year old. Sometimes I wonder, how much of it is her story & how much of it is the story of sweet baby boy? Does she have her own story? Or is it too intertwined with that of sweet baby boy? Regardless, some day I will tell Bear "her story".

Eight Things

Denise over at A Cautionary Talespin tagged me for some useless facts that substitute me sitting down & coming up with a real post. Thanks, Denise, for giving me an out today!

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:

• Furniture shopping
  
• The Bear's 2nd birthday
  
• Awesome Sister-in-Law's wedding
  
• The Bear cheezin' it up as flower girl in the wedding
  
• Summer clothes shopping...desperately needed because I wear a smaller size clothing now than I did before I got pregnant with Bear 2 1/2 years ago.
  
• Naptime
  
• Roo finally cutting those bottom two teeth
  
• Getting something done to the mop on my head. Momma needs a cut & color somethin' bad. Seriously, folks.
  

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

• Stopped myself from strangling The Bear when she yanked out of my hand & ran out in front of a car in the bank parking lot.
  
• Daily Wal-Mart run.
  
• Started yet another dirty laundry basket, since I still don't have a working washer or dryer.
  
• Read too many blogs during an almost non-existant nap time, managing to yet again put off unpacking boxes.
  
• Refrained from beating my head into a wall after The Bear said "Oh. Spank? OK." I have tried every discipline method under the sun on this child & she all but laughs in my face each time.
  
• Met two of our new neighbors. One who has a little boy 3 months older than The Bear & a little boy the same age as Roo.
  
• Took the kids to playgroup-aka-Momma's Sanity Saver
  
• Virtual-shopped for furniture for the new house.
  

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

• Wave a wand & make this horrible tummy pooch disappear.
  
• Hire a maid. Horrible Stay At Home Mom, Party of 1? Your table is ready.
  
• Have the time & patience to grow my hair out. Seeing as how anything longer than shoulder length hair takes me an hour-plus to dry & straighten, that will never happen.
  
• Stick to making a menu & shopping for only that week on a regular basis.
  
• Get The Bear potty-trained allfreakin'ready.
  
• Have at least an iota of desire to do some exercise.
  
• Get that stupid double stroller already. I've put it off for the past 7 months but Roo is getting too heavy to carry in the sling & as noted by yesterday's parking lot fiasco, Bear cannot be trusted to walk along side of me.
  
• Learn to sew.
  

8 Shows I Watch:

• Anderson Cooper 360. YUM. Enough said.
  
• American Idol
  
• Ellen
  
• Hell's Kitchen
  
• Rules of Engagement
  
• Wheel of Fortune. Everyone's got a little Old Lady in them, right?
  
• Noggin Channel-oh c'mon...you don't really think I actually get that much control over the channel changer in this house, do you?
  
• Disney Channel. Please see above statement.
  

8 People I Tag:

• Caitlin at Everything's Wonderful
  
• Em at Momma's On A Diet
  
• Laura at Elephant Juice
  
• Ash at Here's What I Know
  
• Beth at Momma Bear
  
• Jenni at Oscarelli
  
• Peggy at Stir Crazy in the Suburbs
  
• Evie & Chris' Mommy at Raising Irish Twins
  

Geez. Why did I commit to using this much brain power so early in the morning? Why can't Bear & Roo just eat their breakfast instead of screaming at me every 5 seconds?

But seriously. Do it. Or don't. Or do it. So I don't get my bloggy feelings hurt. Or don't. Because I wouldn't really get my feelings hurt.

RTT-Thievery at its finest

Gee, Tuesday again?

Guess that means you should go grab the button over at Keely's & do your own Random Tuesday thoughts.

• Well, hello there new neighbors. Let me introduce myself by promptly booting up the 'ol laptop & stealing your internet. Oh, you're a fan of face-to-face meetings? Yeeaaaahhh. We'll get to that. One of these days.
  
• Oh & neighbors? While I'm grateful you're letting me pirate your signal...can you move around your router or something? Standing at the bar in the kitchen to get the best signal is starting to hurt my feet. Kidding. Seriously.
  
• I'm convinced toddler ears are tuned to a special frequency that allows them to hear the opening of a package of candy from anywhere in the house.
  
• I need to find a book on explaining to a 2yo the logic behind the fact that Momma is allowed to eat her Easter M&M's for breakfast but she has to eat something healthy. "Because I said so" is already starting to sound like a broken record.
  
• No, Bear. For the 17th time. You do not crumble up your granola bear & caulk my window sills with it.
  
• Uh, so remember that little thing called a home inspection that you have to get when you are buying a house? And you know how the inspector is supposed to go over the house with a fine tooth comb? How 'bout that. The inspector managed to overlook a teensy tiny problem in the house. You know, nothing major. Our washer hookups don't have a drain. The dryer? It's vented directly to the basement ceiling. No problem, right?
  
• Special Agent Oso. You are ridiculous. Because, you know, yellow bears with green eyes & ears are totally found in nature. Seriously.
  
• I tolerate the stupid bear, though, because he keeps Bear entertained while I sit all zombie-like on the couch after yet another morning of being dragged out of bed at 6:30.
  
• So I was super excited to take a bath in the new whirlpool tub parked in the corner of the master bath. Do you realize how awesome it is to run out of hot water halfway thru filling the tub? And seriously. Who really needs a three person bathtub? I guess this summer when it gets brain-frying hot outside, the kids & I can swim in there.
  

I had more but my brain still hasn't forgiven the fact that I was woken up an hour early today. So head on over to Keely's to read more RTT's.

Packing Shmacking

Dear Mr. Appraiser:

Thanks for totally screwing us this week. How hard is it to understand that a 3:00pm Thursday deadline means TURN IN THE PAPERWORK AT 3:00PM??!

Lucky for you, we have an awesome realtor & a bank who cannot wait to no longer own a house that has been sitting on the market for over a year.

Since they are totally awesome & just as annoyed at you as I am, they have gone ahead & given us the keys to our new home.

And hey-a verbal affirmation of appraised value, it'll do for now, right?

Well, no, Mr. Appraiser, it won't do. Thanks for shoving our closing date back until next week.

But, like I said, you're lucky we have an awesome realtor. I won't write you a true letter of complaint this time.

Sincerely,
A slightly annoyed (almost) homeowner.

So instead of addressing a letter to the appraiser, I really should be doing some more packing. Yet, here I sit.

I've got about 75% of the stuff done. The Doctor & Totally Awesome Neighbor spent the evening moving a lot of stuff over to the house. My dad & stepmom are headed up tomorrow to help The Doctor with all the heavy lifting.

Oh friends, I'm sure you can feel my pain & sadness when I say that unfortunately, the kids & I will be missing out on all the heavy lifting, last minute shoving of junk into boxes, & eleventy gazillion trips up the stairs.

Instead, we'll be spending the day with Rockin' Sister-In-Law & her soon-to-be husband, watching them open all their presents. And then we'll be headed out to the family pond for the annual Easter egg hunt. Otherwise known as the "watch all the "adults" shove each other out of the way to grab all the eggs they can so they can get the most money" hunt.

When we make our way back into town tomorrow night, we'll be going home to our new house. Where the majority of my boxes will have been unpacked for me, the beds will be assembled, & the only thing I will be required to do is put my two monsters into bed & try out the brand-new jacuzzi tub.

{{{And the angels sang}}}

Unfortunately, the cable company can't get out to the house until Friday to hook up our internet.

Suckfest.

So, unless some kindly neighbor happens to have their Wi-Fi unlocked, I will have to sit out my favorite part of the day.

Ha. Who am I kidding? I'll be sitting in the McDonald's parking lot during naptime using their free Wi-Fi.

And wondering why the heck McDonald's has Wi-Fi. Is it some hip, happenin' meeting spot that I have been missing out on all these years?

See you in a week!

Remember that time I talked about poop? This time, it's not mine.

Trust me. I'm quite aware of the fact that yesterday's RTT sucked. Quite possibly the least entertaining one I've done so far.

So what. Everyone has a down day, right?

I could entertain you with another story about how bad I hate this rent house & how I can't wait until the closing is done on Friday & we can start moving into our new house.

Or I could tell you the story about how when The Doctor got home last night, his car decided to go ape-shit crazy & continue to run even after he turned the car off & took the keys out of the ignition.

Instead, I'll tell you what is The Bear's best potty story to date.

I do believe I mentioned just how well potty training is going 'round here. She's recognizing on her own when she has to pee, going without any prompting from me, & letting me know when she's had an "assdent."

Last Friday she was running around "snakey" like usual. She'd used the potty a few times already that morning & was quite proud of herself.

Well, Nature called for Momma, too. I was in the bathroom & heard the music on the potty chair go off, followed by Bear's deafening "YEA!!!" she lets out every time she pees. She came running into the bathroom to let me know "I PEE! I PEEEEEEE!". She ran back out & I could hear her telling Roo "I pee bruddah, I pee."

It got quiet for a few seconds, which as anyone with toddlers know, when you are not in the room, that's usually not a good sign.

The next thing I hear is Bear's sweet little voice asking "Momma? Comb hair?"

Who can guess where this one is going?

I immediately say "Bear! You come here! Right now!"

She runs into the bathroom & I see that the top of her head is wet. Dripping wet.

"Bear? Why is your hair wet?" "Comb hair Momma?" "Bear! You come here right now!"

And then I proceeded to do what any good mom would do. I took a big 'ol whiff of the top of her head.

"BEAR! Is that...is that PEE PEE in your hair???"

"Momma. Comb hair. NOW."

I grabbed her hands, which were quite dry.

"BEAR! Bear, did you? Did you...Bear, did you stick your head in the potty???" (It should be noted, by this time I am laughing so hard I can barely get the words out.)

"MOMMA. COMB. HAIR. NOW."

After I got her bathed, I called The Doctor at work & said "I'll give you three guesses as to why I just bathed your daughter at 10:00 in the morning."

In other potty training notes...

She woke up from her nap completely dry & told me she needed to potty. Way to go, Bear! So we took her diaper off & she used the potty. Good, good...we're getting the hang of this.

Soon after, I smell poop. "Bear, do you need to poop?" "No, momma." "Bear, are you tooting?" "No toot, momma." "Bear, are you suuuuure you don't need to poop? Something stinks." "NO Momma."

Not being able to stand the smell, I pull her little butt cheeks apart & see the tell-tale streaks. Way to go, Bear! You poo-pooed in the potty!

And then I did what any good mom would do. I took a picture of it & sent it to The Doctor at work.

Yeah. She's gonna totally love me when she's a teenager.

RTT-Diarrhea of the Mouth

Ahh...time again for Random Tuesday Thoughts. What would I do without Keely's weekly excuse to put up a blog that has absolutely no cohesiveness?

• I have what I affectionately refer to as Radio ADD. While in the car, I can rarely leave it on one station for more than one song. This drives The Doctor absolutely friggin' insane. I'd be lying if I said he hadn't slapped my hand away from the buttons more than once.
  
• The Doctor has what I call TV ADD. If I'm watching a show, it needs to stay on that channel the entire time. It pisses me off when I miss portions of the show, even if it's only 10 seconds, when it comes back from commercial. The man cannot just leave it on one channel if it's a show I want to watch. Now if it's one of his shows, that's a whole 'nother story. Tonight? I missed the last 5 minutes of two shows in a row because he was busy channel surfing.
  
• I'm convinced today's growth charts are based off of monster babies. Roo's doctor (he's only about a gazillion times better than yours, by the way) has put him on vitamins & wants to monitor his weight because since about his 2 month checkup, he's never gotten out of the 10th percentile. I must be missing something here because I thought 14-16lbs was normal for a 4 month old? He was closing in on 13 1/2 pounds at his 4mo checkup.
  
• He's been going cuh-razy with his bottles the past month. About a month ago, he ramped it up from 20-24oz a day to about 30oz a day. Not a huge jump but for him, that was a lot. Then, the past week it seemed like he was eating constantly. I sat down today & figured it up...the kid's inhaling anywhere from 40-46oz a day. Jeebus. So I took him in for a weigh-in...he'd gained 12oz in 10 days. Holy hell.
  
• Pretty sure once we get moved into our new house, I never want to move again. Since I graduated high school, I've moved 8 times in 7 years. Seriously? You'd think I'd be a little bit better about not hoarding so much C.R.A.P. but every time it comes time to pack up again, I throw away ridonkulous amounts of C.R.A.P.
  
• Bear's been doing pretty good with the whole potty thing. Lately, if she pees in her panties & I'm not right there with her, she comes running up to me & says "Aww maaaaaan." (I know those words. I know exactly what it means.) Those two words are followed by: "Issa assdent Momma." Assdent. I'll be reminding her of that one for a long time to come.
  
• Bear's new motto should be: Sass-Party of Two. Today while we were driving around, we were going over some of our favorite phrases. "Oh Snap", "Haaaaay Guuurl", & the ever popular "Whatever". I said "Whatever" & she responded with "At-eyah Daaaaaad." Uh, maybe she's heard me say that one too many times? Oh yeah. That was right after I was trying to get her to say her ABC's & after every letter I said, she'd respond with "STOP IT MOMMA". Did I mention when she says stop, she also sticks her hand up? A la "talk to the hand".
  
• After getting up (oh wait. I can't even call it "getting up" since he was still standing) approximately ONE time to comfort Roo, who had trouble going to sleep tonight, The Doctor informed me that it was my turn. Not that I ever keep count or anything, but I had, oh, SEVENTEEN turns before him.
  

And there's your diarrhea for the week. Diarrhea. That's one of those words that the more you say it, the less sense it makes. Now. Go over to Keely's, grab the button, write your own, & link up. Do it.

Purple for Maddie

Thanks to Jenni over at Oscarelli for clueing me into this today.

I never knew Maddie or her story before, when I could have been reading along & taking a part in the joy her family was experiencing.

Trust me-I wish I'd been following this beautiful little girl long ago.

I couldn't tell you how I heard of Maddie, how I heard the unfortunate, heartbreaking news. All I can say now is, go read her story. Go read about the beauty & wonder that is Maddie Spohr.

And Go Purple for this sweet angel.

Take a few moments to get to know Maddie & her family. I promise, you will be touched & encouraged by them.

And when you're done, say a prayer for them. And then love on your own babies a little more.

Seriously, kids

Thank God I'm such a horrible mom & didn't make my kids Easter baskets. Their behavior was bad enough yesterday without adding in a sugar high.

Don't worry, though. I've already put away for safe keeping devoured all the candy my mom brought for their Easter baskets.

Saturday we took Bear to an Easter egg hunt here in town. Uh, seriously ya'll? I knew other moms could be, well, rude, but c'mon! Several of these women were downright vicious. And I'm talkin' the 0-3 set here. What's it gonna be like in a few years when Bear's running with the big kids?

It was like this: 75-80 tots trying to figure out what the heck was going on. 75-80 moms trying to make sure their kids got some eggs. And then there were those moms. "RUN JANE! GET THOSE EGGS! HURRY! THAT KID MIGHT GET IT FIRST. YOU BETTER NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. JANE YOU GET THAT EGG NOW! THAT ONE. RIGHT THERE." These same moms also encouraged (and participated in) elbowing, shoving, cutting other kids off...you get the picture.

Bear walked away from the hunt with a whopping 3 eggs. One she picked up before it started, one someone handed her (again, before it started) because they'd picked it up to tape it back together, & then we found one while we tried to keep from being attackedran over.

They did save back quite a few eggs, though & when they would see a kid with little or no eggs in their basket, they let them pick out a handful, so Bear ended up with about 10 eggs.

And then to cap off the festivities, on the way back to the car, some little ragamuffin walked by Bear & said "Oohhh. What a pretty dress. We save ours for Sunday. Too bad you'll have to wear yours twice. And it will be dirty tomorrow, too."

Seriously. Did I miss some kind of memo about how I should be raising my daughter now? Is there some kind of unwritten mommy handbook out there that says I should let my daughter talk however she wants to other kids (while I sit back & snicker), encourage her (by words & actions) to shove other kids so she can get what she wants, & let her throw herself on the ground & scream bloody murder until I give her everything her little heart desires?

I know I have a toddler. And I know the above behaviors can be expected as a normal part of her development. But lately it seems like I've seen more & more parents not only encouraging this behavior in their kids, but leading by example.

I know Bear is going to act out, pitch a fit when I don't give in to her every demand, get all territorial on a kid when they want to play with her toys. But apparently, 'ol silly me over here is of a rare breed that believes in teaching my daughter appropriate behavior, how to talk to other people, & how not to generally be the rude, selfish pain in the ass that the other moms want to keep their kids away from.

So if anyone has a copy of this super-secret Mommy Handbook I'm apparently missing out on, can you please let me borrow it? Because I'll be damned if I'm gonna stunt my kid's social development by trying to teach her how to be polite & respectful of other people.

Friday Tidbits

Somewhat like Random Tuesdays, but instead of random thoughts, it's an actual recap of what went on throughout my week. Ok, so it's not really like Random Tuesdays, then.

The Hubband caught a peek of the blog. Wondered who the heck "The Hubband" was. Didn't like that I called him "something so silly" on my blog. Demanded Strongly hinted he'd prefer it if I called him something more respectable. DemandedStrongly suggested I should change it to "The Doctor."

Lest ye be confused-he is not a medical doctor. He's a pharmacist. After 8 years of college, he does in fact hold a doctorate degree. He is legally Doctor Blah Blah. And yes, he does use it as a title.

There's this tiny little shack of a restaurant here in town that The Doctor is obsessed with. I say it's just another hamburger place but apparently I don't know what a good hamburger is. The Doctor has eaten there so often since discovering it, when I went in to pick up his order for lunch the other day, they didn't even ask which order was mine.

The guy also thinks The Doctor has a soap opera name. "Doctor Blah Blah. At your service." Yes-he said that with a straight face while handing me the to-go bag.

Did you know good parents don't let their kids watch SpongeBob? At least, that's what the eyes of some moms I'm acquainted with told me the other day.

Did you know this apparently bad, no, mediocre, no, damn good mom lets her daughter watch SpongeBob sometimes? Bear doesn't get what they're saying. And as soon as she starts to understand the dialogue, well, SpongeBob is going to be taking a niiiiice long, permanent nap. If you get what I'm sayin'.

The kids have been up for 30 minutes now. Bear is running around "snakey" (naked for those of you who don't know the current toddler lingo). She's (gasp!) actually been interested in the potty this week. As in, going on it multiple times a day, telling me when she has to go, sitting on it in big girl panties, then peeing through the panties. Hey-she's trying! Roo is (go ahead & gag, I know it's gross) still scootin' around in the diaper he wore to bed. Putting a diaper on this child is A. FIGHT. A screaming, kicking fight. I am just now waking up enough that I am alert enough to dodge the kicks to the face he delivers, trying to make it impossible for me to snug his diaper up tight.

Even though I made up the nicknames for the babes & even though I really do call them that when I talk to them, it still freaks me out when someone refers to them as "Bear & Roo" when commenting on here. I read the comment & get all "Hey! How the hell do they know my kids' nicknames? Where did they hear that? Who do they think they are, calling my kids by their nicknames??!" And then my brain starts working again & says "Hello dummy. That is what you call your kids! What else are your readers supposed to refer to them as? Thing 1 & Thing 2?"

Although, right now, Bear is being kind of wild like a Thing. She's pushing Roo around the living room, rolling him back to tummy over & over again. He just thinks its hilarious & ohmygodtotallyridiculouslyawesome that she is even paying a bit of attention to him.

Today was supposed to be drop all my crap off "take my donation bags to Goodwill day." Instead it has turned into "Sit around & wait on the landlord & electrician day." Last night a giant limb came crashing down in the backyard. The Doctor & I were outside when it happened. It slammed into the shed where I had been in & out of all afternoon. Pulled down our cable line. Snagged the electrical line & bent that pole that attaches your electricity to the your house. The Doctor called the emergency line at the electric company & they told us that it was an electrician's problem & the only thing they'd do for us is shut our electricity off. So now the kids & I are trapped yet again spending another morning at home, waiting on someone to show up & fix a problem.

In typical horrible mother fashion, I'm not fixing the kids Easter baskets this year. They don't get it, I don't need to eat all the candy I'd buy to put in there, they don't need more random toys that they won't play with, and I'm pretty sure both grandmas will go overboard with the baskets they fix, anyways. We are going to the Easter egg hunts here in town tomorrow though. One of them is going to have Elmo, Cookie Monster, Big Bird, Minnie Mouse & the Easter Bunny. Bear's current obsession is with "Elwo" so I'm curious to see how she'll react to seeing one that is 89x her size. And then Sunday, we plan on taking advantage of accepting my mom's help while she's here & having her watch the kids so we can get some serious packing done.

Aaaaaand that's all.

Oh Landlord...

How I will not miss thee.

I will not miss sending out that monthly rent check.

I will not miss the poorly insulated house that requires me to keep the thermostat around 74 degrees in the winter time so that we're not shivering.

I will not miss the heated/cooled garage that helps to hike up my utility bill.

I will not miss the carpeted garage.

(All together now. W-T-H??? A garage with carpet & heating/cooling vents?)

I will not miss not having a bathtub. I'm not sure you, in your infinite old woman wisdom, realize what a task this makes bathing two babes.

I will not miss the ridiculous yards of ceramic tile. Do you grasp what that does to a newly walking babe's body?

I will not miss the doors that do not close properly. Every.single.door. in the house.

I will not miss the yard with the unidentifiable plants that only look like massivly overgrown weeds during the summer.

I will not miss the dishwasher that runs at 10x the normal volume a new dishwasher should run at.

I will not miss the sink that backs up at inopportune moments.

I will not miss the garbage disposal that randomly blows torn up food & water out the other side of the sink.

Mostly, Landlord, I will not miss this horrible, ridiculous white carpet. My trusty shampooer hasn't made a difference in the stains that accompany two young babes & a husband who is apparently color-blind to the fact that we have WHITE carpet.

***singing "Stanly Steemer gets your carpets cleaner!***

So, Landlord, even though you have been just about the best, least intrusive, most laid-back landlord I've ever had...I will not miss you or your over-priced house.

***Has anyone ever wondered what a chalk rainbow looks like on white carpet? Oh, you've never had the opportunity to see one before? Well here, let me show you!***

Asking to pause time...

I am not an eloquent writer. I often have trouble putting my thoughts down on paper (albeit virtual paper). I cherish the moments with my babes that make my heart smile. The ones that make me laugh & the ones that make me cry. I file their beauty away in my mind, storing memories, treasuring the feelings that wash over me.

I always knew that I wanted to be a mother. I've known for as long as I can remember that having children is what would make my life complete. Finding my soulmate & having babies with him has brought me more peace & joy than I could have ever imagined.

99% of the time, I stay away from the blogs & stories of parents who are going through heartbreaking situations with their own babes. My heart cannot take it. Perhaps I am just incredibly selfish. Only wanting to see the good, the funny, the happy, that other mom's have to share. If they are brave enough to put it out there, why can I not be brave enough to share in what they have to say?

Today is one of those rare days that I stop my selfishness, stop my desire to only see the good, stop pretending that there aren't moms out there who deal with constant heartbreak. I crawl out of my self-imposed "cave of goodness".

And it is a slap in the face. It is a wake-up call. It is a big 'ol knock on my door. Reminding me to always be grateful for my two beautiful babes.

As I was reading about beautiful baby Stellan this afternoon, and catching up on the latest developments, the tears started pouring.

I felt ashamed for the times I'd been short with Bear the past week. I felt ashamed for the moments I didn't snatch Roo up & snuggle him when he cried for me. I felt ashamed for not feeling grateful for every second I had with my two beautiful, healthy babes.

Reminding myself that those are normal things, normal feelings, normal normal normal for every day life with two babes didn't help.

Bear, in her infinite sweetness & ability to just know when I need her, looked at me & said "Momma crying? Momma sad?" and when I replied, "Yes, honey, Momma is crying. Momma isn't sad, though. Momma is thinking about how happy & blessed I am to have you & Roo-baby" she looked at me like she knew exactly what I was talking about. She obliged my request for hugs & kisses (which is rare from my sassy little girl), wiped my tears & said "Momma, no crying. Happy!"

How could my little girl know that's exactly what I needed from her at that exact moment?

And when Roo-baby woke from his nap, I made sure to hug him a little longer, kiss him a few extra times, whisper in his ear just how much I love & adore him.

I do not exaggerate when I say, if anything were to happen to either of my babes, I don't know how I would go on breathing. They are my life, my drive, my will to live. They are the reason I wake in the morning, what keeps me going during the day, sends me crashing into bed at night.

I know it's impossible to pause time. To rewind to that silly laugh, that sloppy kiss, that hug when I needed it most. It's impossible to hit the pause button, slow the growth, halt the walking. The best I can do is appreciate every day with my loves. Take the pictures, remember the words, cherish the hugs & kisses.

And never stop remembering just how truly blessed I am.

If you have time, please. Read Stellan's story. Say a prayer for this sweet babe who has already endured so much.

And also, please. Read about beautiful Maddie. Another sweet angel who needs your love & prayers.

And just pause yourself. Hug & kiss your sweet babes. Laugh at them, shed a few tears of joy. While our prayers & thoughts are wonderful for sweet Stellan & Maddie, to me, the best thing we can do for these beautiful babes is take the time to appreciate what we have.

(Somewhat) Wordless Wednesday

Somewhat? Yeah. Because as Hubband would tell you-it is damn near impossible for me to be totally wordless.

Besides, this is my blog & I make the rules.

So there.

Not much makes my heart smile more than seeing a sleeping baby. Not because they are (obviously) sleeping & not screaming their little monster heads off, but because it just reminds me how small & innocent they truly are. I get to stand there & peek at their perfectness, enjoy my beautiful babes without them thinking ohmygodwhyamInotinyourarmsrightthisminute?

Anyways. Bear has hit that stage where she cannot go to bed without approximately 72% of her toys going with her.



That would be 3 babies, 3 blankets, a cup, a pacifier, & a phone. Because she had to call her Bubba (Grandma) & tell her that she was going night night.

And Roo? He's hit that stage of "how bad can I freak Momma out when she comes in to check on me?" Let me tell ya. That's my favorite stage.



(And yes, those are blankets in his bed. More than one blanket. I don't want to hear it. You tell me what you would do when, even after you put your baby to bed in a sleeper, with socks on, you go in to check on them & because the damn heat/air vent in their room sucks, they are still shivering in the middle of the night. Oh, what's that you say? You'd put a blanket on them, too? Uh-huh.)

And then she talked about poop.

That's right. I'm talking about poop.

During the day, I'm lucky if I can pee more than three times. And it's like hitting the jackpot if even one of those times is alone.

Oh wait. One of those times is during naptime.

This is tough for a girl who, before kids, regularly went to the bathroom oh, 8 or 9 times a day.

What? I have a small bladder.

So you can bet when I get to go, it's like friggin' Niagra Falls.

Anyways. Back to the poop.

I fear Hubband is catching on to my trick.

After dinner, before the kids go to bed, I sneak off to the bathroom. Under the pretense of having to go #2.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

Regardless, I stretch out my time nice & looooooong.

The latest trash mag, a good book, if I want to really convince him-the laptop.

Sure, I could wait until the kids go to bed to really "take care of biz". But on top of enjoying my 10 minutes of peace...I enjoy listening to Hubband trying to wrangle the two tired, cranky monsters right before bedtime.

***off-topic here: Did I really just hear Kate Gosselin bitch because the jelly beans they are enjoying aren't friggin' organic? Who gives a crap, Kate? They are jelly beans for craps sake. If you are that worried about it, don't eat them in the first place!***

So. Back to poop. As I said, I fear Hubband is catching on to my little game.

Last night he asked me if I was sure I couldn't wait until the kids went to bed.

Uh-no, no I can't.

RTT-how do I come up with this stuff?

Thanks, as always, to Keely for providing me a reason to share what's been floating around in my brain.

• Anyone else ever watch Extreme Home Makeover & get slightly annoyed by the rooms they've done for the kids? I get what they're doing, giving the kids a room that's totally theirs, done up in exactly what they're interested in, blah blah. But seriously? Does anyone else really think those kids will still think the room is ohmygodsofreakingcool in 5 years? Anyone else see a 13 year old being excited about sleeping in a Lego bed?
  
• On the subject of EHM, does Ty Pennington ever do a "secret room" or whatever he calls them that isn't a master bedroom?
  
• Dear Mother Nature: I get it. Your pissed about the global warming & the greenhouse gasses & yada yada yada but seriously? Enough with this 80 degrees one day, windy & barely above freezing the next.
  
• Two conversations with the Hubband this past week:
  
  
  
  • H: "What do you think of the name Chester?" M: (trying to figure out where this
    name fits in on the 'list of worst names he's ever come up with') "Oh yeah? And what kind of
    nickname are you thinking?" H: "Oh no, no nickname. Just 'Chester Cheetoh (last name)'. It's
    got a nice ring to it, right?"
    
  • As I reach my hand out to Hubband as he's getting off the couch. H: "What the hell?"
    M: "What?" H: "I dunno...I thought you were going to slap me in the face or something."
    M: "Uh, no. My name is not Kate Gosselin."
    
  
  
• Is anyone still watching J&K+8? Bear likes to watch the kids but I almost think the newer episodes are pretty much unbearable.
  

Head on over to Keely's to grab the button, play along & link up!

2am is not a socializing hour

Well, hello there, son.

I know you know who I am. Your momma, right?

We've spent almost 7 months together. I feel we're getting a pretty good grasp on what we each like, dislike, & expect from each other.

As much as I like you & think you are just about the best thing since a good cup of coffee, I'm still struggling to figure out the answer to this question.

Where in the hell did you get the idea that I enjoy a 2am party invitation?

In the past 7 months, when did I once give you the impression that I am cool with a 2am wakeup call?

Because in case you haven't noticed, I'm only nice for about the first 5 minutes that you are awake in the middle of the night. Anything past 5 minutes & my patience is on a downhill slide.

Oh & your little party trick of clawing at me & screaming in my face? It would take about 9 stiff drinks for me to find that funny.

So son? Honestly, it's in your best interest to either A) start sleeping thru the night or B) quit insisting that I get you out of bed & rock you back to sleep.

I'll see you tonight, Roo Baby.

Love,
Momma

Newsey news

Soooo...I promised some news.

How many of you tried to guess & thought, "Hmmm...is there a #3 on the way?"

If that was you-please sit back down & say 10 Hail Mary's & ask for forgivness for thinking such a wretched thought.

OK. Kidding. Having a #3 wouldn't be wretched, it would just be damn hard. And I am in no way, shape, or form ready for that to happen. Ask me again in 5 years.

Although Hubband would tell you differently. I still haven't sold him on the idea. Right now, he's so anti-#3 that, on average, once a month he offers to go get the "Big V."

Anyways. Back on topic.

In two weeks, we will officially be the proud owners of this:


Our first home! I'm just a little excited.

Right now it's a 3-bedroom, 2 bath. Right now? Yep, right now. It has an unfinished basement that has the potential to be an additional 1577sqft of living space. Eventually there will be an office, bathroom, 1 extra bedroom, & a 2nd living area down there.

And, uh, Kansas? WTH is up with the siding/brick combo? Can you not just pick one?

You think I'm kidding. But seriously. It is almost impossible to find a house that is completely one or the other here. Not that I'm really complaining about it, but I'm used to houses that are, well, one or the other.

So if everything goes well, we should close in 2 weeks. Then the fun sets in. How very convenient er, unfortunate for me that I will be out of town the weekend that we move, thus leaving Hubband to do all the heavy lifting himself.

And yes, we've Chase has already started packing. He won't have another weekend off until the move so he wanted to take advantage of it. Which really means, we cleaned out the desk area & packed up the playroom & then picked up the rest of the house.

Because the guys next door are drinking beer & grilling. And, honey? I'm really hungry. And I'm still annoyed from our shopping trip today, so I'm just going to go have a beer or two or twelve. And I mean, if you wanna just relax & take it easy, that's cool with me, too.

Oh, annoyed from our shopping trip? Puh-lease, Hubband. You have balls (well, I mean, yes, in fact, you do) to tell ME that YOU are annoyed.

Somehow "You can pick out whatever you like for the living room, dining room, & kitchen" turned into:

(H)"What kind of fridge should we get?" (me) "I don't care, as long as it's black so that it matches the rest of the appliances." (H)"OK. I like this stainless steel one."

(H)"What kind of living room furniture are you wanting?" (me) "A leather sectional. And no recliner. I'm seriously over recliners." (H)"Sounds good, lets go look." (me) "That one! That's the sectional I want." (H)"Huh. Nah. I'm really liking that motion furniture. You know, the ones where the recliners are built into it?" (me)"No recliners. We'll look for a chair & ottoman to match, but no recliners." (H)"Oh wow! I think this it! Have a seat, it's so comfortable!" (As he dies & goes to Heaven whilst in a couch with a recliner built into it.)

Soooo...we're at a standstill with the furniture shopping. Rest assured, though. I WILL get my way.

Hurry up & wait...

It's Saturday morning, too early o'clock. My thoughts are still random. But that's only cool on Tuesdays, when you can give Keely a shoutout, right?

• After reading Keely's comment from RTT, I figured I'd better clarify. Roo's naked booty isn't actually scooting across the floor, thus potentially leaving hard to clean streaks across my living room. He's perfecting his army crawl lately so it's the man-bag that's draggin', hence my worry about rug burn.
  
  
• Bear has been a tiny terror lately. Two is a beast. Yesterday she decided the dresses at the bridal store made the perfect hiding spot. She also tried to knock over the half-naked mannequin. And dear Lord has this girl developed some kind of super strength. She almost managed to pull me down on top of her when she decided to suddenly become dead weight as I was attempting to pull her up off of the ground.
  
  
• I'm attempting to be resourceful with the Hubband's money & my time, so I decided to be all adult & stuff & actually sat down & made up a menu for the week. And then even got all thoughty & checked the fridge & pantry before I made up my grocery list. And whaddya know? Grocery shopping was a little less of a hair-pulling, baby-screaming affair because I had a list, we were in & out, & I saved about $30 because I wasn't just randomly tossing stuff in the cart.
  
  
• I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one who doesn't feel like bein' up in the PW's biz all the time. I was starting to feel like maybe there was something wrong with me, being from Oklahoma & all, not thinking she was just ohmygodtodiefor.
  
  
• So like a good wifey, I got up redonkulously early with the two tiny terrors so the Hubband could sleep in. Now we're all sitting around, waiting on him to decide to wake up & join us. I probably shouldn't complain too much since I asked begged demanded we go to Wichita to do some shopping today.
  
  Actual news coming later today...oh, I know...you're on the edge of your seat waiting for it...