Someone thinks I'm doing something right!

The lovely Kyooty over at Kyooty Center has decided I'm a pretty good momma & sent me an award for it!

Thanks, Kyooty, for my first award!

I do love my little beastlets. Some rare pics of me with the terrible twosome :)

Momma & my precious TWO YEAR OLD! Happy birthday, sweet Bear. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone & you are the sunshine of my day. You drag me out of bed way too early every morning, keep me laughing all day long, & send me crashing into bed every night. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


Momma & sweet little Roo baby. My little surprise, you continue to do just that every single day. You keep me on my toes, whether it be from crawling over to the table & getting stuck underneath it, pulling up on something & panicking when you can't get down, or trying to mimick what Bear is doing & getting hurt because you suffer from "little dog" syndrome. Don't rush, little man...one day, too soon, you will be a big boy, mobile & running all over the place, no longer my little booger butt.

Laundry Detergent

Let me just say I was quite surprised that I didn't get any "Bwahhaa, you hippie nut, you make your own laundry detergent?" comments last night :)

Not only do I really feel that it's better for our skin & actually makes our clothes cleaner, but it is ridiculously cheap.

With commercial detergents, unless you buy the dollar store brand, you're paying anywhere from $7ish-$20+ a bottle, depending on size, brand, location, etc.

I think I probably spent about $15 to get started, which included the ingredients, a large plastic jar with lid, & a cheese grater.

I make powdered soap. Mostly because I am lazy & don't feel like taking the time needed to make the liquid/gel soap. If you're interested in the liquid version, let me know & I've got a few recipes saved.

If you don't like my version of the soap recipe, just Google "make your own laundry detergent" & you'll get a whole handful of sites.

Here's the powdered soap recipe that I use:

1 box of Borax


1 box of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (This is not the same as baking soda & they are not interchangeable)


3pk of original Ivory soap (You can use Ivory, Dove, etc. However, the "beauty bars" such as Olay or anything that have added moisturizers will, over time, cause buildup on your clothing)


(If you have incredibly dirty, greasy clothes [ie your husband is a mechanic or your kids are fond of going out to the driveway & rolling around in those nasty oil spill puddles], you may want to consider using a stronger bar soap such as Fels Naptha, Zout, or one of those other peel your skin off soaps that our grandparents were so very fond of.)

Essential oil of your choice. I prefer Clean Linen or Citrus scents. Lavendar would also be a nice choice.

It is ridiculously easy to put this together. I followed a 1:1 ratio with the Borax & Washing Soda.

• In your blender, mix 1 cup Borax with 1 cup Washing Soda. Mix on low speed until they are combined. Repeat until you have used all of the powdered ingredients.
  
• Add in the essential oils. The original recipe that I found called for only 2-3 drops of oil for the entire batch. I probably ended up using about 15 drops all together & still noticed little to no scent on my clean clothes.
  
• You will need to grate the soap with the cheese grater. If you have a food processor that can handle the stickiness & thickness of the grated soap, grating with the large holes will work best. However, if you manage to kill yours (like I did) while trying to chop it into smaller pieces, simply use the small holes on the cheese grater & you can mix them right into the powdered ingredients without trying to chop them any smaller.
  
• Mix the soap with the powdered ingredients. Pour into a container with a lid.
  
• Wash your clothes.
  

It really is that simple. You will want to play around with the amount needed for your washing machine, but it should not require much soap at all. For light loads, I use 1 (yes, ONE) Tablespoon of powder. For heavy loads, extremely dirty loads, etc. I use 2 Tablespoons plus a scoop of OxyClean.

This soap will not suds up in the washer, so don't think that you need to continue to add more soap in an attempt to achieve sudsing. Also, I don't know how this would work in an HE or front loader. I'm sure you could ask Sir Google & get an answer fairly quickly.

I was able to find all the ingredients minus the Washing Soda at Wal-Mart. If yours carries it, it will be in the laundry aisle, close to the Borax. If not, check your local grocery store & possibly even hardware stores. If all else fails, you can buy it on Amazon. At the grocery store, I know I paid less than $3 for the box, but I can't remember just how big the box was. The one on Amazon is 55oz but is over $10 before S&H, so check around. The essential oils, I found in the potpourri aisle at Wal-Mart as well. I don't think they say "essential oil" rather, something along the lines of liquid potpourri. You can order essential oils off of Amazon or if you have a health foods store near you, you can pick them up there, as well.

I made my first batch roughly 5-6 weeks ago, right after we moved into the new house. I have probably 5 loads worth left in the jar. And that's with doing sometimes as many as 10 loads of laundry a week. So, this stuff lasts quite a while, as opposed to going & buying a new bottle of detergent every 2-3 weeks.

If you want to take it a step further, you can cut out your commercial fabric softeners as well. There are recipes that call for water & plain hair conditioner. Good 'ol vinegar works the best in my opinion. Simply fill your Downy ball to the line with plain white vineger & toss in the washer. Your clothes do not come out smelling like vinegar. After a few washes with the laundry detergent & vinegar combo, you will notice that your clothes are coming out softer & brighter. You are getting rid of all of the product buildup that has accumulated from the commercial detergents & softeners.

Same goes for your dryer sheets. I've read a variety of suggestions for dryer softeners. From "Soak a washcloth in the commercial liquid softener & toss it into the dryer-lasts for approximately 10 loads" to "Soak a washcloth in hair conditioner" to "Don't use anything at all. Eventually your clothes will cease to be staticky."

I like to use dryer balls. Occasionally I'll have something come out of the dryer a little staticky but that's generally after I've tossed in Bear's "silky" blanket.


There you have it. My laundry recipe. Youc an also tweak this around to make a dishwasher detergent (omit the Ivory soap, keep a 1:1 ratio of Borax & Washing Soda, add in essential oil of your choice) but I was never able to make it work in my dishwasher. No matter how I changed the amount of soap I was putting in, my dishes still came out spotted, streaked & filmy. However, I do use vinegar rather than Jet Dry in the rinse agent dispenser & have had next to no spotting at all on my dishes.

Laundry is the bane of my existance

I'm sure if I had these beauties sitting in my laundry room, I'd be a tiny bit more motivated...


What's that you say? Ya'll aren't buying it? I didn't think you would.

I am always amazed at how quickly the laundry piles up. We're only four people! The kids clothes I can understand, because there are days when we go through 2 or 3 outfits. But what is the Doctor's excuse? What is mine?

If I was smart, I'd run a load or two every day. But I've never claimed (at least on here) to be smart.

The washing, drying & folding isn't such a big deal. It's not too hard to pop in there every 45-60 minutes to check on the clothes & switch them out as needed.

It's the putting away that breaks my metaphorical back.

It's hard to put the kids clothes away during the day. If I try to do it while they are awake, forget about it. Bear's pulling clothes out as fast as I can put them in, Roo's whining & boo-hooing because I'm not holding him, Bear's whining because she wants to wear THOSE CLOTHES or she needs a new pair of panties...RIGHT NOW.

I could put them away at night, after they've gone to bed, but selfish me, I tend to reserve the time between 8:30-11:00pm for hanging out with my husband, taking a long hot bath, catching up on blogs. Things that don't require me to move much at all.

So usually, I wash, dry, fold & let it sit. Sometimes for up to a week. Whenever I can have the opportunity to have Doctor watch the kids for 30-45min so I can put away their laundry & clean their room. Or I suck it up & do it after they've gone to bed.

I hate messing with the Doctor's clothes, too. Having to pull his pants out of the dryer before the buzzer goes off so any leftover wrinkles are easy to shake out. I've just stopped setting out his shirts that have to be ironed because I despise ironing. I used to drop his pants off at the dry cleaners every 2-3 weeks but got sick of wasting the money. The only reason I felt like it was a waste of money (since it was saving me from having to mess with them) was because instead of being a responsible, considerate husband & hanging his pants up when he got home in the evening, he'd just drop them on the floor in heaps, thus wrinkling them all over again.

My laundry isn't that big of a deal, since I'm still lacking in the whole "having things to wear" department. Especially when it comes to summer clothes. After Bear was born, I was still wearing maternity clothes for a while & then back into my regular clothes. With Roo, I was pregnant the entire mother truckin' summer, so more maternity clothes for me. Anything I had after Bear was born doesn't fit any more, so it's gone the way of Goodwill or the trashcan.

The one thing I do like about laundry? The smell. That's the only nice thing about it. Especially since I make my own laundry soap. I'd toyed around with the idea for a while & found quite a few "recipes" online. I was skeptical about it but went ahead & mixed up a whole batch of it & put in a few drops of essential oils.

It took a while for me to notice a difference, but there has been quite a big one. My clothes feel softer, they smell better, & they definitely look cleaner. The biggest difference though? The kids' skin.

Both my kids have sensitive, dry skin. It wasn't uncommon to see scaly patches all over their arms & legs. However, within about a week of no longer using commercial detergents, their skin started to clear up, the dry patches started to disappear, & now after about a month & a half of using the homemade soap, their skin isn't dull, dry & flaky if I forget to put on lotion after their bathtime.

Has anyone else tried using homemade laundry detergent? What did you think about it? Did you use liquid or powder?

I want to sit down & write, but we have been so busy the last 6 weeks, my brain is pretty much mush.

I feel like I'm just going through the motions during the day because I am so exhausted, I can't put two thoughts together.

Bear's 2nd birthday is in 6 days. SIX DAYS. I don't quite believe it yet. That also means I am just 11 short days from hitting 25. The hump of my 20's. And 4 years of marriage. Geesh.

Hopefully, I'll be able to pull something off other than just RTT this week. I'm not getting my hopes up though.

RTT: The one where I admit to being a prude.

Oh Keely she's so fine, she's so fine she'll blow your mind, HEY KEELY! Hey, hey, HEY KEELY!

• While driving down the interstate last weekend, I saw a Mexican tour bus. Is it wrong that my first thought was "I wonder if the driver has a valid license"?
  
• Apparently, northern Oklahoma has had a problem with people being confused about their cardinal directions. At periodic intervals along I-35, they have placed signs that simply state either "North" or "South". I'm not sure why this is a necessity since I-35 is a relatively uncomplicated stretch of highway, spanning only the following two directions: North & South.
  
• No matter their reasoning for being in the salon, I still cannot help but snicker when I see a man plop himself down into the pedicure chair.
  
• While getting my pedicure, I saw two women walk into the (single bed) massage/wax room together. I don't even want to know.
  
• Last weekend was my sister-in-law's "personal" shower. I do believe I was substantially more embarrassed than she was when it came to opening all of the naughty nighties. I'm quite the prude. There's a reason why I didn't have my own personal shower when I got married.
  
• On the way to the shower, I stopped at Starbucks for my IV infusion. Apparently it's a requirement that, to work as the window guy at Starbucks, you must ask ridiculous questions. Our conversation went like this:
  (Guy leans way out of the window to peer in my car) "Hey, you're all dressed up...watcha got going on today?"
  "Oh, just on my way to my sister's wedding shower."
  "OOh, what did you get her?"
  "Er, it's not that kind of shower."
  "Even better! A naughty shower! So, what did you get her?"
  "Uhhh..." (as my face turns 15 different shades of red...please see above statement about me being a prude.)
  "Oh c'mon. Show me what you got her!"
  "Errr...."
  "Don't be embarrassed. It's not like I'm going to see you again!" (It should be noted...this is the exact same guy that waited on me when I was there last weekend.)
  "Err...well...uhh...just some, ahh, lingerie" (said in a barely audible voice).
  "What? That's all you got her? It can't be that racy! Oh c'mon, just show me!"
  "Uhh, oh, is that my drink? Thanks! Have a great day!"
  
• There's nothing like getting your hair cut & then not having a single family member (besides the Doctor, of course) noticing it to make you wonder "Am I the only one who likes it??"
  
• I'm not gonna lie. I don't keep a spotless vehicle. I (gasp) eat in my car. And (gasp) I let Bear it in the car. When a visit to family requires no less than 2 hours in the vehicle, I do what I gotta do to keep the peace.
  
• But Doctor's car? That's a whole 'nother story. It. Is. Disgusting. I hate driving his car. To the point that if he wants to take mine but it's not a necessity (ie-he's not taking one of the kids with him) I'll make up an excuse about why I will need my car during the time period he's going to be gone. 17 pop bottles in the floorboard? Check. Pop that leaked in the cupholder & was never cleaned up? Check. 37 different papers piled in the front seat? Check. Ridiculous amounts of food wrappers & fast food bags tossed in the back? Check. His mess makes my collection of toys, blankets & the random fry tossed in the floor look like childs play.
  

Aaaaaand, I'm out. Go visit our fearless leader to read more random.

What. The. Eff. (The one where I tell you how to induce diarrhea)

Seriously, ya'll?

SERIOUSLY?

Someone from La Grange, Illinois found my blog by Googling the following phrase:

"How to get diarrhea purposely".

HUH? Why would you want to purposely give yourself diarrhea?

Dear reader, in Illinois, why would you Google that???

Because, really. The answer is so simple & one not need the internet to achieve that goal.

Go eat some Chinese buffet.

The end.

Why I love my tile floors

Alternative title:

Who would like to come teach my children proper table etiquette?

I do believe I've mentioned in the past the hideous, completely pointless, completely horrid white carpet that was in our rent house? I may have failed to mention that this carpet extended into the dining room.

Sure, I hated that carpet. Hated it in the rest of the house. I totally, utterly, completely detested having carpet underneath my dining room table. That would be a common-sense FAIL right there.

The ridiculous carpet necessitated a sheet being kept underneath Bear's highchair at all times. And that sheet? Had to be washed pretty much daily because, well, she wasis a slob.

Which leads me to my love of my tile floors in the dining room & kitchen. Bear's still a total slob & Roo's just starting to get the hang of eating something that doesn't look like pureed dog doo, so he's lucky if he gets 50% of the food into his mouth.

It usually works like this:

• 7:00am: Start out the day with beautiful shining floors, clean table, clean highchairs.
  
• 9:00am: Feeding time at the zoo has begun.
  
• 9:15am: Step on some puffs, curse because it is totally smushed into my foot & I actually have to scrape it off.
  
• 9:20am: One of the beastlets has decided they are done eating, so whatever food is left on their plate is dumped.
  
• 9:21am: Take a peek at the floor, think Bear actually did a decent job of eating & that there isn't much food under her chair. Take a peek under Roo's highchair, wonder why I bother to put food on his plate at all. He'd be happier if I scattered it across the floor a la Hansel & Gretel & set him free to act as a human vacuum.
  
• 9:22am: Get kids down from table. Depending on what was served for breakfast, either herd them into the tub or herd them into the playroom.
  
• 9:23am: Walk out of kitchen & leave the mess on the floor.
  
• 11:45am: Repeat scene from breakfast. Except now it's lunch, so the food is a little messier.
  
• 12:15pm: Again repeat scene from breakfast. Remove beastlets from chairs, decide between bath or diaper/clothing changes & naptime wind down.
  
• 12:45pm: Beastlets are in bed. Whip out the trusty broom, dustpan & mop. Proceed to clean up approximately 2/3 of all food I painstakingly unwrapped prepared for the terrors.
  
• 3:30pm: Snacktime. Why did I bother sweeping & mopping?
  
• 7:45pm: Dinner. Repeat food scene played out through entire day.
  

So there you have it. I'm lazy. I don't sweep and/or mop after every feeding. If I did, my schedule would look like this: Feed, sweep, mop. Repeat 4x.

But it can't be that bad you might be saying to yourself. Ha! would be my reply. Still don't believe me? Here's photographic evidence. This is from breakfast & lunch today.

Here it is, still all spread out:


And here is the massive pile once it's been swept up:


I know...you're just totally clamoring to come eat with me & my kids. Right?

Seriously though. Those pictures? Proof of why, when we go out to eat, we tip based off of how big of a mess the kids made. Your service sucked balls? If they made a mess like the one above, you're still getting $10.

RTT-The mostly husband edition

Oh yes, it's that time again. Please acquaint yourself with our Mistress of Ceremonies, the one & only Keely.

• Traveling with children is a b****. Traveling with children who still require bottles & diapers is a fat b****.
  
• Traveling with a child who is almost potty trained blows. When said child no longer wants to wear diapers yet does not realize until 5 seconds before she has to pee that, holycrapIhavetopee, frantically searching for a semi-decent bathroom blows.
  
• Screw traveling. With kids. It's not worth it.
  
• There is currently a bottle missing in my house. I am a bottle & sippy cup Nazi. I can't go to bed at night until all are located & safely in the dishwasher. This is mostly because I'm a tightwad. It pisses me off to lose a bottle or cup, only to find it a few days later, all crusty & curdled. Because rather than try to wash it, I pitch that stinking mess into the trashcan.
  
• Mother's Day card? Fail. Mother's Day gift? Fail. House cleaned completely with no help from me? Fail.
  
• Not that I should be surprised, considering I'm married to a man who once (for his dad) purchased a card for his mom that read "Happy Mother's Day, Dad" & sincerely thought it meant "Happy Mother's Day (from) Dad." I do not kid.
  
• This is also the man who, even after I told him how I felt about it, did not even acknowledge Mother's Day while I was pregnant with Bear because, according to him, I was not yet a mother. TWO WEEKS BEFORE I had her. Asshat.
  
• Listening to Doctor talk about the way he runs the pharmacy? No way in Hades would I ever work for that man. He only has two settings. 1) Bend over backwards for you or 2) Something crawled up my hind end & I'm going to make everyone else pay for it.
  
• Not that he's all bad. He made my favorite breakfast for dinner last night with no complaints. Chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream. And I got to sleep in.
  
• And a few weeks ago? He told me I could go buy that other Coach purse I'd been drooling over, if it's what I wanted for Mother's Day. But then immediately followed that statement up with "But if you get that, it'll just be that much longer before I can start on the yard." Generosity FAIL.
  
• And while we're on the subject of fails...PUT YOUR DIRTY SOCKS IN THE HAMPER. Not right next to it. Are you worried the hamper will bite your hand if you get too close to it?
  
• I received a rather rude comment on my video of Bear & the potty. Something along the lines of "when she's older, she'll hate you for displaying her vagina to the world." What I'm wondering is, why is some random person searching for videos that include a 2yo's lady bits?
  
• I'm already wondering what the heck I'm going to teach the kids to call their privates. Right now it's "lady bits" & "little wiener." And that's not gonna fly in a few years. Do I really want my son to walk up to his teacher & say something along the lines of "Teacher...something's wrong with my little wiener." Awwwwwkwaaarrrddd.
  

That's all I gots today. I'm still recovering from 3 days of traveling with the beastlets. We crammed too much into 3 days & having the kids in the car for 400+ miles blows.

Head on over to Keely's to link up & read other random posts. Happy Random Tuesday.

Feeling lost

I adore my husband & couldn't ask for better in-laws. I love my sister & her husband.

But seriously. This group of people couldn't make me feel dumber if they tried.

Here's the rundown. Between the Doctor, his 3 siblings & their husbands, & my sister & her husband we have the following: Pharmacist, pilot, a degree in marketing, a nurse, a degree in finance, a nearing Poli-Sci major with hopes of law school, one working on a Master's degree, & an aspiring doctor.

And then, there's me. College dropout, average jobs worker, stay-at-home mom.

I hated college. Despised it. Couldn't have cared less about showing up to class, as evidenced by two big fat F's my first semester. Working 40 hours a week while trying to make my way through 14-16 hours at a time didn't provide for much motivation to study & do homework, either.

After a year & a half of college, I dropped out. Became another statistic. 6 months later, I moved across the state with Doctor so he could go to pharmacy school. For the next 3 years, I worked long hours at mediocre jobs so I could support us, so he wouldn't have to work. Went back to school for a year. Tried to finish up my basics while working 40 hours a week & lugging my pregnant behind around campus. Finished my last class just 2 weeks before I had Bear.

And you know what? 99.9% of the time, I don't regret any of my decisions. I don't regret not staying in school to rack up more student loan debt just to get a piece of paper that most likely would never be used. I don't regret, not for one moment, working to help put Doctor through school. I never regret staying home with the babes.

I've always known that staying at home with my children is exactly what I would do. I can't think of anything better, for me, to be here with my kids all day, every day. To be there for the ups & downs. The doctor's appointments, the field trips, play groups, grocery shopping, sick days in bed, potty training, messy lunches, skinned knees, tantrums, screaming & crying. I want to be home, doing everything for my kids. Ironing Doctor's clothes, making his lunch, taking care of dinner. Even the mundane things like dishes, laundry, shampooing the carpets, taking out the garbage. It's what I do, and I love it.

So why do I let it get to me that I'm the only one who doesn't (or won't) have a college degree? Why do I let myself feel like less of a person because I don't have a $20,000 piece of paper with my name on it? Like my days aren't as accomplished because I sit down at the computer to blog or catch up with friends rather than compile another spreadsheet, send an email about the latest figures, or design some fancy new logo?

I sometimes get so caught up in what everyone else is doing or has done, in celebrating someone else's graduation or new job, in listening to who they got to meet at work. I often feel left out because I can't join in the conversation on what the latest trend is or what article should be read because it pertains to something about a job. I feel looked down on because I didn't finish school. Because I "just stay home" with the kids.

On Mother's Day, of all days, I'm feeling more lost than I have in a long time. On the day I should feel the most accomplished, because I've got two wonderful, amazing children who worship me, who rely on me for everything, who are happy to spend all their time with me. I've got a husband who adores me, who wants me doing no other job than the one I currently have, who relies on me to be able to get out the door every day to go to his job.

I know there will be people who read this & think "oh, for crying out loud. You've got the luxury of staying at home, something so many people wish for, & you're whining about it? Seriously?" But that's not the point at all. I'm not whining about it. I wouldn't trade this for any other job. I just feel like my job is seen as less than some others, just because I don't have that stupid piece of paper that says I'm qualified.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about what I want to do about this. Here I sit, with 60+ hours of college credit that don't really add up to anything. I've worked my fair share of jobs that have all given me skills to do basic, non-specialized jobs. Things that really aren't needed to kiss scraped knees, make a bottle, peel & slice an apple. Skills that don't help potty training go any easier, or teach Bear how to tie her own shoes or wipe her own butt.

I'd love to find something I'm good at, that I could do from home. Not necessarily to bring in extra money (although that would be nice) but something that would make me feel like I have a little more purpose other than being a walking hankie, a carrier of sippies, the lost binkie finder, butt wiper, snack maker*. Maybe one day, finish up a degree-even if it is just a general education degree. That way I can say "Oh yeah. I have one of those pieces of paper, too. It just took me a little longer to get mine."



*you know, now that I write it all out...it's just that much more apparent that what I do is pretty damn important-and it's a whole heckuva lot of work.

At least there's WiFi

This weekend we're in Oklahoma City. My youngest brother-in-law made it to the state track meet in shot & discus, so we're here to cheer him on.

More accurately, the Doctor is here to cheer him on because I'm stuck at the hotel with the babes. We lasted about an hour & a half out at the track. The weather is miserable. So humid it's hard to breathe. I couldn't take it & the kids had no business being out in the heat any longer. Hopefully there were no pervs hangin' around...it was so bad I stripped Roo down & laid him under the umbrella for a while.

I'm sitting here listen to the two of them entertain each other over in the 2nd bed. I had to put pillow between the two of them because they wouldn't leave each other alone. Have you ever seen that video on YouTube where the older brother keeps saying "Ow, Charlie. You bit me!"? That's what it sounds like in here. "Ow, Roo! Ow!" followed by ridiculous giggles from both of them.

Who knows...I may (involuntarily) join them during naptime. Seriously, ya'll. Housekeeping is in the hall outside of our room cleaning the carpets with what smells like paint thinner. It's nasty. At least there is WiFi.

Doctor's parents wanted the kids to sleep in their room last night. Uh, do you really think I complained about that? Doctor & I went down to the bar-if you can even call it that. Apparently they are renovating the actual bar, so they have one of those little porta-bars (like what you see at special events) set up outside of the open dining room & they keep all the booze in one of the bedrooms. The "bartender" was a 20ish Owen Wilson wannabe. Since Doctor & I were the only ones in "the bar" we got to hear all about just how much he can actually drink & all of the stupid things he & his buddies do while they're drunk. Oh & how the hotel actually pays him $7 an hour!!! and it's a "totally cake job, yo." Riiiiight.

C'mon beastlets. I know you're tired. Fall asleep already.

I hate talking on the phone to Doctor. He just called & I'm trying to be quiet since the kids seem to be thisclose to finally passing out. He gets this stupid attitude & says crap like "well, I can't hear you so I'm just going to assume you said..." or "well, since you're not talking, I'm just going to hang up." "What's that? I think you said..." Asshat.

Hopefully the weather won't suck balls tomorrow & we can somewhat enjoy being outside all day. Especially since my mom is keeping the kids tonight & all day tomorrow. Hi Mom. Enjoy your time with the beastlets. You know, the ones who don't like to go to bed when I'm not around. And the ones who cry when they haven't seen me in the last 5 minutes. Oh, & the youngest beastlet? You do remember he's never spent the night away from me, where I'm not just in the next room? Oh, what's that? You're still up for the challenge? Just remember. I tried to warn you.

At some point tomorrow, I'm making Doctor take me to the mall so I can find a dress for his sister's wedding. #1: The mall in Wichita blows & I couldn't find anything. #2: I think I look about as good as a sack of potatoes in a dress, so I need someone elses opinion. #3: I won't have any kids to drag along. I think that says enough.

Aaaand, 45 minutes later they've finally stopped poking & kicking each other & finally passed out. But seriously. How could I get mad? It was too much fun to sit here & listen to them laugh.

Here's to a 3 hour nap since they didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Don't pretend to be jealous...how excited would you be, stuck in a dark hotel room, crappy TV that gets a whopping 12 channels, & you've already spent $20 on sucky room service food. Hey...at least there's WiFi.

Wordless Wednesday-Mmm...Oreos

It's Tuesday. It's Random.

You know where to find it. Right? If not, tough luck.

And here we go.

• Bravery or Stupidity? I'll tell you next time. Why's that? Today, we're attempting playgroup in panties. Er, let me clarify. Bear in panties, rather than a diaper.
  
• Reason #62 I don't talk on the phone while the kids are awake: Today, Bear pulled off her panties & ran out onto our deck. Hello neighbors...I hope you enjoyed your free peep show.
  
• "Good Chinese Buffet". An oxymoron if I ever saw one...
  
• Why doesn't the Doctor appreciate the humor of this statement? "Hmm. Let's see. My biggest accomplishment today? Definitely getting dressed."
  
• I thought I was a patient person. That is until I tried to take a walk with my almost 2 year old. Stopping every 7.3 feet to pick up yet another rock gets old after, oh, the 3rd time.
  
• Rushing to Sonic 4 minutes before Happy Hour ends just to get your daily Vanilla Coke? That might be the sign of an addiction. Either that or the part where you admit you have a daily Vanilla Coke.
  
• Anyone else with me on signing a petition for Sonic to make the drive-thru for drinks only?
  
• Roo truly is my child. I caught him trying to pick up french fries with his toes the other day.
  
• Bear proved herself to be a true Okie a few days ago by using her shirt as a hankie. And I just proved myself a true Okie by using the word "hankie". Thanks, grandma.
  
• Maybe someday, when I'm feeling adventurous, I'll fill the Doctor in on all the random objects I've narrowly missed hitting while driving.
  
• Hello, Reeses? So there was this one time that I bought a king-size package. (OK, in all actuality, there have been multiple times.) Anyways. So this one time. There were only 3 in the package. If I weren't such a faithful consumer of your product, I would consider boycotting you for this atrocity. It's in your best interest to tell your Quality Control department to never let this happen again.
  

Fine. Stop begging. I'll tell you where to go. No, not there. Here. To Keely's so you can grab the button & link on up.

Roo's Story

Ahhh, Roo-baby. My little surprise. Your beginning was a surprise, your arrival was a surprise, and you continue to surprise me each & every day.

Bear was about 6 months old when we found out The Doctor's brother & sister-in-law were pregnant with #2. And holy crapola did baby fever hit us both. Hard. Before Bear was born, I was 150% certain that I only wanted one child. And then, surprisingly, I loved being pregnant. Every moment of it. I loved (even given the circumstances) the labor & delivery. And I wanted a second baby so badly, I could barely stand it.

Things got crazy. Doctor was finishing his first semester of rotations, driving into OKC 7 days a week for school & work. 2 hours a day on the road. I was home with Bear, still trying to settle into a routine, and packing to move to OKC for Doctor's last semester of school. We talked a little about having a second baby & decided we'd start trying after graduation, around the time Bear turned 1.

We moved, we unpacked, we took advantage of having a babysitter & went out a few times.

I swear to you. The Doctor & I simply TALKED about having a second baby & BAM. For about a week, I was so incredibly sick I couldn't get out of bed in the mornings. Bear & I didn't leave the house. The house looked like a tornado wrecked it. The Doctor started to get suspicious. Clear Blue Easy's stock prices once again rose.

14 (no lie) tests later & we finally accepted it. Do you have any idea how much 14 pregnancy tests cost? I don't suggest it.

I was close to 12 weeks by the time I had my first appointment. Chalk it up to losing my birth certificate, which was necessary to get a new drivers license-since mine had expired. However, you have to have a current drivers license to get a copy of your birth certificate. I had to wait for my mom to be able to take off of work to go get a copy of my birth certificate for me. Why was this necessary? You have to have all of those things to apply for Medicaid, which we had to have since Doctor was still in school.

I didn't know I was almost 12 weeks though. I had no clue when I might have gotten pregnant.

Totally. Uneventful. Pregnancy. You know, except for the part where we moved to another state, attended the Doctor's graduation in 90 degree heat, celebrated Bear's 1st birthday, chased around a crazy toddler, served as MOH in my beautiful sister's wedding, and traveled more than any sane person should.

And did I mention that I kept my doctor in OKC, which is close to a 2.5hr drive? It was worth it, though. I had an awesome doctor.

Awesome except for the part where he never checked me to see if I was making any progress. I started asking at 34 weeks because I wanted to try & have a general idea of when I should make sure to have my bag packed & all that fun stuff.

I went in for my 37wk appointment, asked to be checked, & was told we'd do it at my 38wk appointment. My doctor said he didn't expect much to be happening & that he figured he'd see me for my 38wk appointment, check me then, & see me at the hospital 3 days later to be induced. Because, you know, we planned on inducing so we didn't have to worry about going late, going into labor on my own, anything that would make the 2.5hr drive even more miserable than normal.

I came home from the appointment disappointed, fat, swollen, & totally over being pregnant. Fast forward through a totally ordinary week. I had my bag about 75% packed & Bear's bag totally packed. Wednesday, September 10th, I'm sure Bear & I spent the day doing our typical stuff. That night I lamented to The Doctor how OVER being pregnant I was. I cleaned the whole house, played with Bear, then jumped on the treadmill. Doctor's dad called about 20 minutes into my walk & laughed when I told him what I was doing.

Headed to bed, tried to, ah, you know, get things going, went to bed about 11:30.

1:31am. Wide awake, wondering if I really felt what I think I did. Went to the bathroom, walked around for a while, wondered if Roo was really doing a number on my bladder. Woke the Doctor up about 1:40, told him my water broke. I have never seen the man move quite so fast. "Get the bag! Get Bear! Where's my glasses? My phone! My wallet! Why can't I find anything? Do you feel OK? Are you having contractions? Lets go, lets go!" Did I mention we had a 2.5hr drive ahead of us?

Instead of rushing around, I convinced Doctor to help me load the dishwasher, take out the trash, you know, the usual. My reasoning was that I figured we wouldn't be home for 2 or 3 days & I wanted to come home to a clean house. We finally loaded up the car, got Bear in her carseat & took off. I had 1/2 a tank of gas & suggested to the Doctor that we needed to go ahead & get gas. Of course, being the smarty-pants that he is, says "Nah. We can make it." 145 miles on 1/2 a tank? Sure.

The interstate is 20min from town. By the time we hit the interstate, a mere 40 minutes after my water broke, my contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes. Uncomfortable but not unbearable. By the time we got to the Oklahoma state line, they were every 1-2 minutes, lasting about 45 seconds. Yeah. I was getting a little edgy by that point. And what do you know? About 30 miles later, we had to stop & get gas.

I asked suggested begged demanded the Doctor drive faster. I didn't know it until later but he was cruising down I35 at a relaxed 120mph. He may have been a little worried that we were going to have Roo on the side of the road. It should also be noted that from any point on the interstate, it would have taken us a minimum of 45 minutes to get to any hospital.

When we were about 10 minutes from the hospital, I called my brother-in-law, who lives about 10 minutes away & asked if one of them could meet us there to pick up Bear. Perhaps saying "asked" is stretching it. More like I grunted "having baby. come. get. Bear. NOW." Oh yes, now might be the time to mention...we made the 2.5hr drive in an hour & 40 minutes.

We pulled into the ER driveway, Doctor ran in & had someone come out with a wheelchair then took off to park the car. I gave them what information I could & was taken up to triage to "assess my condition." Those contractions that were taking my breath away? Nah...not a good enough indication of active labor. The nurse covering the ER desk called my doctor to let him know I was at the hospital & his response was "Are you sure you have the right patient? She's getting induced on Monday."

We get up there, the nurse asks me if I'm an epidural kind of girl & I respond that I am a GIVE ME DRUGS NOW kind of girl. About that time my sister-in-law showed up to pick up Bear & helped me get undressed & on the bed. The nurse came back in, checked me, told me I was at a 6 & they had a room ready for me.

In the 10 minutes it took us to get up to the L&D floor & into a bed, I went from a 6 to an 8. I started crying & asked if I still had time for my epidural. They assured me that the anesthesiologist was on his way up. Not 2 minutes later, they checked me again & said the most terrifying words I think I've ever heard: "OH Honey! That baby is coming NOW!" Those nurses scrambled, robed & gloved in under a minute. It should also be noted that the anesthesiologist walked in during delivery. And my doctor? A cool 15 minutes after Roo was born.

Ya'll...if I was a laboring patient in a room within 50 feet of mine, I'd be demanding my epidural NOW. My screams were that bad. I honest to goodness could not control myself. Thankfully, Roo decided to keep up his hectic schedule of getting here RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE. I pushed 4 times & less than 40 minutes after getting to the hospital, Roo-baby made his arrival at 4:37am.

I. Was. Exhausted. My legs were so weak & they wouldn't stop shaking. I took the IV painkillers. I was so sensitive that when the nurses tried to finish the delivery, I accidentally kicked one of them. It was close to 10 minutes later before Doctor asked me if I wanted to see my son. I looked up, took a good long look at him & pronounced "He looks just like Bear." And then closed my eyes & fell asleep.

The rest of our hospital stay was so incredibly uneventful; boring, even. Doctor wasn't allowed to go with Roo when they took him to the nursery. Something about HIPPA laws & all that junk. Apparently, Between midnight Tuesday & noon Thursday, there were about 20ish baby boys born. So they decided to make the circumcision process one big 'ol party. The nurses told us they started at #1 & just moved on down the line.

Thursday afternoon, my doctor's office called to remind me of my 38wk appointment the next day. I laughed. By that night, I was absolutely stir-crazy. I was bored, I felt fine, I'd been up walking around since about 8am, I missed my Bear. We ended up telling our nurse the next morning that we were ready to check out.

So there's the story of my little Roo-baby. Like I said...he's been surprising us since the moment we found out about him.

Hey Friday...how about a redo?

Warning: This post is not friendly. Friday & I did not get off to a good start.

Dear Beastlets:

First off, let me say this. I appreciated the wonderful naps you both took yesterday. And the early bedtime? That was much appreciated since I had the pleasure of bathing & bedding you both on my own. However, I do am not sure why you insist on punishing me the next day every time you are kind to me the day before.

You both woke up an hour early this morning. To some, 6:30am is a reasonable time of day. Heck, some parents even consider 6:30 sleeping in for their beloved offspring. I, however, do not. 6:30am & I are not friends. And when you insist on waking up at this hour, it is difficult for the 3 of us to be friends.

Although you allowed me to ignore you & remain in a semi-conscious state for another 30 minutes, you both opted to punish me for that 30 minutes once I stumbled out of bed. I walked across the house to discover two loaded diapers. Did you guys enjoy some midnight snacks last night? Because I sure as heck know what I fed you for dinner would not have caused these type of epic monsters in your britches. And to top it off, Bear, I walked into the bathroom to discover approximately 3/4 of the water that is normally contained in the toilet puddled on the floor. Bear, if you don't cut that out, YOU will soon be the one mopping the floors, bleaching the bathtub & walls, & washing the bathmat. Three times in one week is not humorous. And when you chose to shriek at me when I sat down on the computer 5 minutes after fixing cups & bottles, it should be known I was not sitting down for enjoyment. No. I sat down & promptly ordered a toilet lid lock.

You guys couldn't have stopped there, though. That would have made it too easy to forgive the previous 45 minutes & attempt to restart our day. In one short hour, you alone, Bear, managed to do the following:

• Sit on your brother, causing him to shriek in agony & run out of breath because you were smashing his lungs.
  
• Rip up several bills that I left laying on the table.
  
• Climb up onto the end table 4 times then fall off said end table & get stuck between it & the recliner. The side of the recliner with the handle, no less.
  
• Rip every toy out of Roo's hands & pitch it across the room, resulting in torturous screams from Roo.
  
• Spoon 1/2 your eggs directly onto the dining room floor then wail about how you were still "Huuuuugggrrryyyy". After demanding a cookie, when I instead placed a Nutrigrain bar on your plate, you immediately had the mother of all fits, demanding I put it IN THE TRASH, TRASH, TRASH, whilst sneaking small bites & peeking at me out of the corner of your eye in the hopes that I was not actually noticing you take small bites.
  

And Roo? You yourself have not been a walk in the park this morning. Heaven forbid I get more than 2 feet away from you. And if I dare to walk out of the room? Why don't you just go ahead & call DHS on me now. Because if anyone within a 3 mile radius were to hear your screams of terror, they would probably think I was lashing you with a whip.

Any sort of housework, which I might add is desperately needed to be done, shall have to wait until your terrorizing little bodies crash into bed. Although your attitudes have allowed me to catch up on blogs & emails today, that is not what I had in mind. I would be absolutely thrilled to be loading the dishwasher, folding stacks of laundry, heck, even taking out the trash right now. However, you two do not seem to think those are worthy tasks. You do not want me to play with you, you do not want me to hold you. You do not even want me to speak to you. Yet, I must be sitting within 5 feet of either one of you, ready & willing to jump at the drop of a hat, should you decide I am worthy of your attentions.

To top off this spectacular, steaming pile of poo morning, it is raining. For the 5th day in a row. Which means that the only excursion we will take today is to Sonic to get Momma's caffeine fix & for a drive around the park to see the ducks. Because those are the only two activities outside of the house that we can engage in without leaving the shelter of our vehicle.

So children, as soon as you finish your lunch, you are headed to bed for naptime. I am so desperate for your naptime, I am willing to overlook the fact that you will be going down an hour early. I am sure, though, that it does not seem an hour early to your warped little minds since you chose to wake up early this morning. And once you go down? My first task will be to scrape up the Spaghettios & chunks of ravioli that you both thought made better floor decorations than appetizers.

Lets all wake up from naptime in better moods, OK?

Love,
Momma