Aww, shucks

So I've been given a few awards.

And I'm just now getting around to blogging about it. Whoops.

First up, the amazing Princess Jenn & sweet Amber bestowed upon me the Honest Scrap Award.



Here are the rules for receiving the award:

1. Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you
2. Tell those 7 people they’ve been awarded the HONEST SCRAP AWARD and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.
3. Share “10 Honest Things” about yourself.

So...here are my 10 Things

1. I absolutely hate my hair. I've got a terrible receding hairline & since having kids, it's only gotten worse. If it gets any thinner, I am honestly considering shaving it all off & wearing wigs. That's no joke.
2. I have a disgustingly horrible diet. I rarely ever eat breakfast-unless you count my coffee, lunch is most often a cookie or two, followed by a Sonic pop, & dinner is usually my only meal of the day. I graze throughout the day, but it's never healthy. I still haven't figured out how I don't weigh 150lbs since all I eat is junk.
3. I'm not quite sure when the last time I exercised was. I've had the 30-Day Shred sitting on my counter, giving me the stare down for 3 weeks now. I've been too lazy to even take the plastic wrap off of it.
4. I've started no less than 3 blogs to keep family updated on the kids. The last one I started hasn't been updated since shortly after we moved, back in April. I'm not even sure I remember the log-in info for it.
5. I firmly believe that naptimes are mom's break time. Most days I end up sitting on the couch, catching up on emails & blogs or thinning out my DVR rather than being productive.
6. I'm in a wicked sleep pattern right now & seriously need to break it. Most nights I'm up til 11:30-12:00 & then the first screams from the kids' room come anywhere from 6:30-7:00. I know I need more sleep than that but late nights are the only time I get to spend any time with Chase.
7. When Chase is gone, I can't sleep. Wednesday night I stayed up cleaning, doing laundry & goofing around online. And only slept from 7-10am.
8. That Thing You Do & Bring It On are my two favorite movies. I've seen them each at least 75 times.
9. I know absolutely nothing about politics & don't really care to learn.
10. I wish they'd never taken Passions off the air. Stupid Today Show & their stupid need to have seventeen hours of programming per day.

Next up is the Over The Top award, from Lu, Ash & Jennifer.


All there is to do is answer these questions:
1. Where is your cell phone: On the couch
2. Your hair? Messy
3. Your mother? Taking care of the beastlets for me
4. Your father? Relaxing at home?
5. Your favorite food? Chinese buffet. I always regret it afterwards
6. Your dream last night? None...I was in a heavy, drug induced sleep
7. Your favorite drink? Coffee
8. Your dream/goal? No more hand surgeries
9. What room are you in? Living room
10. Your hobby? Baking
11. Your fear? Being home alone
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Volunteering in the kids' classroms
13. Where were you last night? Bed
14. Something that you aren't? Motivated to exercise
15. Muffins? Cranberry & orange, please
16. Wish list item? These gorgeous, soft leather riding boots from Coach
17. Where did you grow up? Oklahoma
18. Last thing you did? Dozed off at the computer
19. What are you wearing? Sweat pants, warm tee & lots of bandages on my hand
20. Your TV? Uhm, big?
21. Your pets? Non-existant
22. Friends? Amazing, varied, spread all over the country
23. Your life? Simple. Rich. Fulfilling.
24. Your mood? Complacent...lots of pain killers right now.
25. Missing someone? Chase & the babies
26. Vehicle? Jeep
27. Something you're not wearing? Shoes
28. Your favorite store? Coach. Target. Old Navy.
29. Your favorite color? Brown
30. When was the last time you laughed? Minutes ago
31. Last time you cried? Wednesday night after dropping the beastlets off
32. Your best friend? The perfect compliment to me
33. One place I go to over & over? Grocery store
34. One person who emails me regularly? Mi madre
35. Favorite place to eat? The Chinese buffet

I'm not tagging anyone for these...I'm lazy, the drugs are kicking in, & I think most of you have already been tagged.

I probably got another cyst as punishment for hitting my kid in public

Carter's evaluation went fine, no seizures, nothing to worry about. The neurologist tried to tell me he's delayed on his verbal & motor skills. I told him I disagreed, that I think it's more a case of 2nd kid-itis. His regular doctor, Chase, & pretty much anyone else that has any interaction with him agreed, too. Heck, if you could get what you wanted just by pointing & grunting, would you put any effort into talking? I didn't think so.

Both kids are little sicklets. It's awesome. Between sick visits, regular checkups, Claire's surgery for tubes, the surgery on my hand (and the possibility of a 2nd one), periodic orthopedic visits for the kids hips, & all the other doctor related stuff we've had this year, our ridiculously high deductible was met by the end of July. That is impressive yet disgusting at the same time. And yes, you read right about my hand. About a week after having my stitches taken out, I found another cyst. Same hand, different finger. My doctor didn't even look at it, just referred me right back to Dr. Hand.

Carter's birthday was awesome. It wasn't as big or complicated as Claire's party, which was great. Very few toys were received, which was even greater. And the few we got were quiet...no singing, talking, or flashing lights. Pictures coming soon.

And since I was too busy lazy to get around to writing a Random Tuesday Thoughts yesterday, I leave you with these little nuggets of love:

Claire secured my nomination for Mom of the Year yesterday while we were at the library. I got onto her for something & swatted her hand. Claire, sensing that the entire library had fallen quiet, chose that moment to shout "Mom! Don't hit me, mom!" Well played, daughter. Well played indeed.

I am debating writing to the board that licenses all new doctors & petitioning for a new test to be added. I think all doctors need to be able to pass a breath test before their license is handed over. Now, I'm not saying your breath needs to smell like unicorns & sunshine, but c'mon. A little Mentos never hurt anyone. For an hour & forty five minutes on Monday, I was only able to take tiny little gasping breaths because it smelled like the doctor dined on baby skunks for lunch.

So after a year & a half of having my car, I've got it pretty much figured out exactly how many miles I can get on a tank of gas. Yet it still annoys me to no end when Chase doesn't reset the tripometer after every fill up.

Finally, you never know what will pop out of Chase's mouth. Last week, after leaving Carter's appointment, we stopped at Starbucks since neither of us got much sleep the night before. Claire started whining for a chocolate chip cookie. "I want the cookie. Mom, I want the cookie. Mom, please? Please? I like chocolate cookie, Mom. Dad? Cookie? I like it." Chase pops off & says "You know who else likes cookies, Claire? The devil. That's who." Claire didn't say anything for about 20 seconds & then in this tiny little voice said "Uhm. Cookie? Please?"

Dear Lump

Dear Louise the Lump:

Just a heads up. Tomorrow is your eviction day. You've stuck around for almost 4 months now.

I'm sure you've been hoping that I'd eventually grow fond of you. Wished that we'd become the best of friends. Obviously, we haven't.

You grow at a ridiculous rate. You are approximately 8 times the size you were when I first discovered you. You're like a little parasite, feeding on my finger, my nutrients, perhaps even my blood? You started out about the size of a piece of pea gravel. Now you are roughly the size of a small grape.

You are, to put it simply, annoying. I can't grip anything with any amount of strength or you start protesting. Any time I smack my hand on something, you scream in anger.

Honestly, I'm quite tired of you. And as much as I fear the block they'll be inserting in my armpit tomorrow morning, I'm relieved that you'll finally be gone. I am not looking forward to having my hand stitched & bandaged for two weeks, but if that's what it takes to get rid of you, I'll suffer.

Sincerely,
Cara


For those of you wondering what the frack I'm talking about...I have a ganglion cyst on my left middle finger. Conveniently, it is getting to the point where it is sometimes hard to bend my hand into a fist, so when I'm driving & that middle finger makes it's way into an upright position, I just say "Sorry, it has a mind of it's own!"

I was totally going to link to a picture of a ganglion cyst but all the ones I found? Just made me sick to my stomach. That was definitely the wrong thing to do the day before the surgery. Perhaps if I'm not feeling too grossed out when it's all over tomorrow I'll take a picture of it. Don't hold your breath, though.

Dear Dummy Dog

Dear Dummy Dog,

Lets strike a deal: You stop diarrheaing (yes, that's a word) on my carpet & I'll stop chasing you around with the carpet shampooer.

Love,
Cara

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dummy Dog,

I don't care how much we paid for you. You snap at my face one more time, regardless of whether you are playing or not, and I will take you out to a field & dump you.

Love,
Cara

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dummy Dog,

You chew on the leg of my couch one more time & I just might unscrew said leg & beat you with it. How's it taste now?

Love,
Cara

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dummy Dog,

Your water bowl is for you to drink out of, not take a bath in. You may think you are helping me out but in all reality, you are only making my floor dirty.

Love,
Cara

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dummy Dog,

So I read this crazy rumor online that dogs like to keep their "areas" clean. So why is it that, in the middle of the night-after I've stumbled around in the dark to take you out, you insist on running back into your kennel & crapping? I'm sick of cleaning crap up at 6:00am.

Love,
Cara

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dummy Dog,

You're pretty good with the kids. If you can just stop jumping up on Claire & knocking her over, things might work out pretty well. You're awfully cute & I appreciate the fact that you're pretty laid back & don't run around my house going 90 frackin' miles an hour all day long. Your breath is remarkably non dog-like, which makes your existence somewhat more tolerable for me. Even though I'm not your "person" (which in all actuality is a good thing since I don't care for dogs that much), I'm learning to like you.

Love,
Cara

Be still, my heart

Oh, Jon & Kate, how I love thee.

Which is why I am so over the moon that Fox News had a special feature, announcing this breaking news:

Jon & Kate: Big Announcement

Alas, I must wait the entire day until your latest bid for attention airs this evening.

What ever shall I do with myself? Do you realize just how far away 8:00pm is?



Total spoiler alert, thanks to Brandy:

J&K Update




Seriously. If you can't tell this post is so dripping with sarcasm that I need to go grab the mop, you are in the wrong place.

Twenty Five

Well, hello, internets. Yesterday I turned 25. And celebrated my 4th anniversary. So, as my gift to YOU, because I am kind that way & love to share, I'm going to share 25 facts about me. Sit back, relax, & you might learn something new.

• I lived in California for 8 years. I don't remember much about it, other than we moved a lot, I gained a sister, I went to Disneyland a lot, and by a lot I mean like, 28 times, & always thought earthquakes were cool.
  
• I've only been stung twice. Both were wasp stings, both happened on the same day, within 15 minutes of each other.
  
• I worked at Lowes for a year. It was, hands down, the worst job I've ever had in my life.
  
• I played the flute for 8 years. If I were to pick one up today, I doubt I could get a single note out.
  
• I've been asked if I was the kids babysitter too many times to count. Chase's family has some strong genes. My niece & nephew look a lot like his side of the family & when they were babies, we used to get asked if Claire & nephew were siblings.
  
• I have a serious caffeine addiction. Wake up? Start the pot of coffee right away. Out running errands? Sonic, here I come for my vanilla Coke.
  
• I love to bake. For Christmas, I received the beautiful black Kitchen Aid stand mixer I'd been lusting over for years. My latest obsession has been homemade cupcakes & icing.
  
• I despise dusting. I'm doing good if I do it once a month.
  
• I also despise mopping. Yet, I do it every single day because Claire & Carter make such a mess on the floors.
  
• If I could hire a maid to do nothing other than mop & dust, I feel that would be money well spent. If she wanted to scrub the toilets & bathtubs, too, I wouldn't complain.
  
• I cannot stand vodka. Even the smell of it brings back bad memories & makes me gag.
  
• I get annoyed when people I couldn't stand in high school try to add me as a friend on Facebook or MySpace. Usually, I'll accept the request, just so I can nose around on their page, see what they're up to, then delete them. I get twice as annoyed when they immediately try to add me again & if you send me a message asking "whhyyyyy won't you be my frieeeend?" I usually respond with "Because we weren't friends in the 1st place & I have no desire to have you snooping around my business just so you have some gossip to spread."
  
• I never claimed to be full of sunshine, rainbows & kittens. I think the above fact proves my point.
  
• Sleep is a tricky game for me. If I only get 6 to 6.5hrs, I can jump out of bed & get my day started like it's no one's business. If I get 8.5 hours, it has the same effect. If I get stuck in between the two, getting in between 7 & 8 hours? My day is screwed.
  
• If our HOA didn't have rules against things like this, I would definitely put up a clothesline in our backyard & dry most of our clothes out there.
  
• I hate cats. My mom has two. One is the devil reincarnate. The other doesn't know if he's male or female. He's Androgynous Cat.
  
• The only way I can remember which sex "neuter" & "spay" belong to is by this little ditty: You neuter the nuts.
  
• Every time I ever had to dissect something in science class, I puked.
  
• I have to resist the urge to say something hateful every time I hear this phrase: "Wow, two babies! Man, I bet you have your hands full!" Thank you, Captain Obvious. Now, unless you would like to use one of your free hands to help me, I think you'd better move along, because this freak show ain't free of charge.
  
• I do not like midgets. Or clowns. Midgets, please don't take it personally, it's not you. It's me.
  
• I hate the zoo.
  
• I love to read. Before kids, I could sit & finish an entire book in one day. And then pick up a new one the next day. Now, I'm lucky to make it through a magazine.
  
• I think poodles are the second ugliest dogs ever. Next to those little hairless rat things.
  
• Life would be A-OK if I never ate another hamburger, hotdog, or steak again. I don't have anything against them. I just prefer chicken. Or pasta. Or chocolate. How do I not weigh 300lbs?
  
• I hate anything that is cherry scented.
  

So there you have it. 25 things about yours truly.

And as a bonus, like the goody bags you receive at the end of the party, the "thank you for coming over for free cake & ice cream!" of the birthday world, I'll leave you with my birthday gift recap:
Carter:
Finally popping through his bottom teeth. Good timing, son, because I was considering taking you in to get fitted for dentures.
Finally mastering crawling. He still prefers the army crawl when he thinks he needs to get somewhere fast, but he likes to show off, so when he knows you're looking, it's the real deal.
Bleeding diaper rash. His butt is beet red, he poops every 2-3 hours, & diaper changes are, if at all possible, even more difficult to get done.
Claire:
An entire bottle of red, cherry scented (remember how I hate the smell of cherries?) shampoo on the carpet in the hallway & their bedroom, the tile in their bathroom, & in her hair.
The gift of shampooing my carpets, on my birthday. It took me 3 hours & 2 gallons of water to remove all of the shampoo.
Chase:
A beautiful bouquet of flowers.
A box of my favorite fudge.
Dinner at the Chinese restaurant, which I paid for later, but it was worth not having to cook.

Sir Google says...

And here we go...10 search terms that have brought people to my blog.

• "how to get diarrhea"
  
• "giving yourself diarrhea"
  
• "how to get diarrhea purposely"
  
• "kate gosselyn is a bitch"
  
• "ouch 8 cavities"
  
• "pooch says momma"
  
• "the sick child roo"
  
• "pedicure giggling"
  
• "for the love of tile"
  
• "circumcision baby"
  

Each & every one of those things shows up on the hits at least 3 times.

Diarrhea. Huh. Apparently, quite a few people apparently don't appreciate regular, normal poops & WANT to subject themselves to the torture of anal explosions.

Heh. I wonder how long it will take someone to Google "anal explosions" & be brought here.

Pooch says momma? That one just makes no sense to me. I can't even come up with a reason that searching those terms would bring you here.

For the love of tile...that one sounds like something your straightlaced Granny-who wears her hair in a bun & sits on her front porch in the rocker with a mint julep in hand-would shout as she stubbed her toe. "For the love of tile! That one hurt!"

I do believe the Katezilla search is pretty self explanatory...

Circumsion searches I can get. I probably disappointed whoever was reading up on it though. And "the sick baby Roo"? Perhaps they were searching for a story about a baby kangaroo? Heck if I know.

And lastly. Pedicure giggling. Perhaps some insecure 1st time pedi-goer who is worried that her feet are so sensitive she'll bust out in laughter? I feel your pain, honey. Or maybe you, too, encountered a 400lb brute arriving for their bi-monthly manlycure & you wanted to see if anyone else had any good stories?

So there it is. A few of my favorite search terms. I'll let you know if I ever get a hit on "anal explosions."

I want to sit down & write, but we have been so busy the last 6 weeks, my brain is pretty much mush.

I feel like I'm just going through the motions during the day because I am so exhausted, I can't put two thoughts together.

Bear's 2nd birthday is in 6 days. SIX DAYS. I don't quite believe it yet. That also means I am just 11 short days from hitting 25. The hump of my 20's. And 4 years of marriage. Geesh.

Hopefully, I'll be able to pull something off other than just RTT this week. I'm not getting my hopes up though.

What. The. Eff. (The one where I tell you how to induce diarrhea)

Seriously, ya'll?

SERIOUSLY?

Someone from La Grange, Illinois found my blog by Googling the following phrase:

"How to get diarrhea purposely".

HUH? Why would you want to purposely give yourself diarrhea?

Dear reader, in Illinois, why would you Google that???

Because, really. The answer is so simple & one not need the internet to achieve that goal.

Go eat some Chinese buffet.

The end.

At least there's WiFi

This weekend we're in Oklahoma City. My youngest brother-in-law made it to the state track meet in shot & discus, so we're here to cheer him on.

More accurately, the Doctor is here to cheer him on because I'm stuck at the hotel with the babes. We lasted about an hour & a half out at the track. The weather is miserable. So humid it's hard to breathe. I couldn't take it & the kids had no business being out in the heat any longer. Hopefully there were no pervs hangin' around...it was so bad I stripped Roo down & laid him under the umbrella for a while.

I'm sitting here listen to the two of them entertain each other over in the 2nd bed. I had to put pillow between the two of them because they wouldn't leave each other alone. Have you ever seen that video on YouTube where the older brother keeps saying "Ow, Charlie. You bit me!"? That's what it sounds like in here. "Ow, Roo! Ow!" followed by ridiculous giggles from both of them.

Who knows...I may (involuntarily) join them during naptime. Seriously, ya'll. Housekeeping is in the hall outside of our room cleaning the carpets with what smells like paint thinner. It's nasty. At least there is WiFi.

Doctor's parents wanted the kids to sleep in their room last night. Uh, do you really think I complained about that? Doctor & I went down to the bar-if you can even call it that. Apparently they are renovating the actual bar, so they have one of those little porta-bars (like what you see at special events) set up outside of the open dining room & they keep all the booze in one of the bedrooms. The "bartender" was a 20ish Owen Wilson wannabe. Since Doctor & I were the only ones in "the bar" we got to hear all about just how much he can actually drink & all of the stupid things he & his buddies do while they're drunk. Oh & how the hotel actually pays him $7 an hour!!! and it's a "totally cake job, yo." Riiiiight.

C'mon beastlets. I know you're tired. Fall asleep already.

I hate talking on the phone to Doctor. He just called & I'm trying to be quiet since the kids seem to be thisclose to finally passing out. He gets this stupid attitude & says crap like "well, I can't hear you so I'm just going to assume you said..." or "well, since you're not talking, I'm just going to hang up." "What's that? I think you said..." Asshat.

Hopefully the weather won't suck balls tomorrow & we can somewhat enjoy being outside all day. Especially since my mom is keeping the kids tonight & all day tomorrow. Hi Mom. Enjoy your time with the beastlets. You know, the ones who don't like to go to bed when I'm not around. And the ones who cry when they haven't seen me in the last 5 minutes. Oh, & the youngest beastlet? You do remember he's never spent the night away from me, where I'm not just in the next room? Oh, what's that? You're still up for the challenge? Just remember. I tried to warn you.

At some point tomorrow, I'm making Doctor take me to the mall so I can find a dress for his sister's wedding. #1: The mall in Wichita blows & I couldn't find anything. #2: I think I look about as good as a sack of potatoes in a dress, so I need someone elses opinion. #3: I won't have any kids to drag along. I think that says enough.

Aaaand, 45 minutes later they've finally stopped poking & kicking each other & finally passed out. But seriously. How could I get mad? It was too much fun to sit here & listen to them laugh.

Here's to a 3 hour nap since they didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Don't pretend to be jealous...how excited would you be, stuck in a dark hotel room, crappy TV that gets a whopping 12 channels, & you've already spent $20 on sucky room service food. Hey...at least there's WiFi.

Packing Shmacking

Dear Mr. Appraiser:

Thanks for totally screwing us this week. How hard is it to understand that a 3:00pm Thursday deadline means TURN IN THE PAPERWORK AT 3:00PM??!

Lucky for you, we have an awesome realtor & a bank who cannot wait to no longer own a house that has been sitting on the market for over a year.

Since they are totally awesome & just as annoyed at you as I am, they have gone ahead & given us the keys to our new home.

And hey-a verbal affirmation of appraised value, it'll do for now, right?

Well, no, Mr. Appraiser, it won't do. Thanks for shoving our closing date back until next week.

But, like I said, you're lucky we have an awesome realtor. I won't write you a true letter of complaint this time.

Sincerely,
A slightly annoyed (almost) homeowner.

So instead of addressing a letter to the appraiser, I really should be doing some more packing. Yet, here I sit.

I've got about 75% of the stuff done. The Doctor & Totally Awesome Neighbor spent the evening moving a lot of stuff over to the house. My dad & stepmom are headed up tomorrow to help The Doctor with all the heavy lifting.

Oh friends, I'm sure you can feel my pain & sadness when I say that unfortunately, the kids & I will be missing out on all the heavy lifting, last minute shoving of junk into boxes, & eleventy gazillion trips up the stairs.

Instead, we'll be spending the day with Rockin' Sister-In-Law & her soon-to-be husband, watching them open all their presents. And then we'll be headed out to the family pond for the annual Easter egg hunt. Otherwise known as the "watch all the "adults" shove each other out of the way to grab all the eggs they can so they can get the most money" hunt.

When we make our way back into town tomorrow night, we'll be going home to our new house. Where the majority of my boxes will have been unpacked for me, the beds will be assembled, & the only thing I will be required to do is put my two monsters into bed & try out the brand-new jacuzzi tub.

{{{And the angels sang}}}

Unfortunately, the cable company can't get out to the house until Friday to hook up our internet.

Suckfest.

So, unless some kindly neighbor happens to have their Wi-Fi unlocked, I will have to sit out my favorite part of the day.

Ha. Who am I kidding? I'll be sitting in the McDonald's parking lot during naptime using their free Wi-Fi.

And wondering why the heck McDonald's has Wi-Fi. Is it some hip, happenin' meeting spot that I have been missing out on all these years?

See you in a week!

Remember that time I talked about poop? This time, it's not mine.

Trust me. I'm quite aware of the fact that yesterday's RTT sucked. Quite possibly the least entertaining one I've done so far.

So what. Everyone has a down day, right?

I could entertain you with another story about how bad I hate this rent house & how I can't wait until the closing is done on Friday & we can start moving into our new house.

Or I could tell you the story about how when The Doctor got home last night, his car decided to go ape-shit crazy & continue to run even after he turned the car off & took the keys out of the ignition.

Instead, I'll tell you what is The Bear's best potty story to date.

I do believe I mentioned just how well potty training is going 'round here. She's recognizing on her own when she has to pee, going without any prompting from me, & letting me know when she's had an "assdent."

Last Friday she was running around "snakey" like usual. She'd used the potty a few times already that morning & was quite proud of herself.

Well, Nature called for Momma, too. I was in the bathroom & heard the music on the potty chair go off, followed by Bear's deafening "YEA!!!" she lets out every time she pees. She came running into the bathroom to let me know "I PEE! I PEEEEEEE!". She ran back out & I could hear her telling Roo "I pee bruddah, I pee."

It got quiet for a few seconds, which as anyone with toddlers know, when you are not in the room, that's usually not a good sign.

The next thing I hear is Bear's sweet little voice asking "Momma? Comb hair?"

Who can guess where this one is going?

I immediately say "Bear! You come here! Right now!"

She runs into the bathroom & I see that the top of her head is wet. Dripping wet.

"Bear? Why is your hair wet?" "Comb hair Momma?" "Bear! You come here right now!"

And then I proceeded to do what any good mom would do. I took a big 'ol whiff of the top of her head.

"BEAR! Is that...is that PEE PEE in your hair???"

"Momma. Comb hair. NOW."

I grabbed her hands, which were quite dry.

"BEAR! Bear, did you? Did you...Bear, did you stick your head in the potty???" (It should be noted, by this time I am laughing so hard I can barely get the words out.)

"MOMMA. COMB. HAIR. NOW."

After I got her bathed, I called The Doctor at work & said "I'll give you three guesses as to why I just bathed your daughter at 10:00 in the morning."

In other potty training notes...

She woke up from her nap completely dry & told me she needed to potty. Way to go, Bear! So we took her diaper off & she used the potty. Good, good...we're getting the hang of this.

Soon after, I smell poop. "Bear, do you need to poop?" "No, momma." "Bear, are you tooting?" "No toot, momma." "Bear, are you suuuuure you don't need to poop? Something stinks." "NO Momma."

Not being able to stand the smell, I pull her little butt cheeks apart & see the tell-tale streaks. Way to go, Bear! You poo-pooed in the potty!

And then I did what any good mom would do. I took a picture of it & sent it to The Doctor at work.

Yeah. She's gonna totally love me when she's a teenager.

Oh Landlord...

How I will not miss thee.

I will not miss sending out that monthly rent check.

I will not miss the poorly insulated house that requires me to keep the thermostat around 74 degrees in the winter time so that we're not shivering.

I will not miss the heated/cooled garage that helps to hike up my utility bill.

I will not miss the carpeted garage.

(All together now. W-T-H??? A garage with carpet & heating/cooling vents?)

I will not miss not having a bathtub. I'm not sure you, in your infinite old woman wisdom, realize what a task this makes bathing two babes.

I will not miss the ridiculous yards of ceramic tile. Do you grasp what that does to a newly walking babe's body?

I will not miss the doors that do not close properly. Every.single.door. in the house.

I will not miss the yard with the unidentifiable plants that only look like massivly overgrown weeds during the summer.

I will not miss the dishwasher that runs at 10x the normal volume a new dishwasher should run at.

I will not miss the sink that backs up at inopportune moments.

I will not miss the garbage disposal that randomly blows torn up food & water out the other side of the sink.

Mostly, Landlord, I will not miss this horrible, ridiculous white carpet. My trusty shampooer hasn't made a difference in the stains that accompany two young babes & a husband who is apparently color-blind to the fact that we have WHITE carpet.

***singing "Stanly Steemer gets your carpets cleaner!***

So, Landlord, even though you have been just about the best, least intrusive, most laid-back landlord I've ever had...I will not miss you or your over-priced house.

***Has anyone ever wondered what a chalk rainbow looks like on white carpet? Oh, you've never had the opportunity to see one before? Well here, let me show you!***

Naptime Randomness

It's 6:30pm & both kids are still asleep. So much for normal bedtimes tonight.

Do you think racecar drivers have a hard time obeying the speed limit?

I do what is called the "6 o'clock mad-dash" at my house. Hubband gets home about 7:15, so around 6:00pm I clean up as fast as I can. Never fails to amaze me that if I just vacuum & have a basket of clean laundry on the couch, I get a "wow, looks like you got a lot done today!"

Uhhh...is it spring yet? I'm seriously over winter.

I say seriously a lot. Not just when blogging/emailing but when I'm talking too. It seriously annoys the Hubband.

One time, not long after Roo was born, I went for a month without shaving my legs. It was bad. The time it took when I finally shaved wasn't worth the time I saved during that month.

I caught Bear-wait for it-licking pee off her hands last night. She was running around with no pants because I've been trying to introduce her to the potty. I walked back into the living room & noticed her hands were wet. It went something like this: "Bear-what is on your hands?" Bear gives me a silly grin. "Bear, did you pee pee?" "See Momma?" Sticks her hands back in the potty & before I can stop her, sticks them in her mouth. I look in the potty. It's half full.

While we're talking about pee. One time not long after Roo was born & I was still in a super sleep deprived state (as opposed to somewhat sleep deprived state I live in now), after I brushed my teeth I grabbed the washcloth sitting on the vanity & wiped my mouth. And then realized it was the same washcloth the Hubband had used to dry out the inside of the potty the night before. True story.

When I was pregnant-both times-I ate ramen noodles for lunch almost every day.

I hate the dentist. And pregnancy hates my teeth. Being pregnant with Bear gave me 8 cavities. Roo gave me 5 more. 13 cavities in 2 years. Suck.

Remember how I hate the dentist? I bit him one time when I was getting cavities filled. Not on purpose.

I'm in no hurry to get Roo out of our bed. Bear wasn't a snuggler & wanted to be in her own bed when she was about 3 months old. There's just something about having him snuggle up next to me & play with my hair.

I'm one of those people who views the speed limit sign as a mere suggestion. As in-we suggest you go no slower than 65mph. Apparently my thinking is backwards here in good 'ol Kansas. Drivers here also view it as a suggestion, but more along the lines of-we suggest you get nowhere NEAR 65mph. Bad things will happen. We suggest you set your cruise at 55mph & hey, while we're at it? Passing is bad, mmmmkay?

I hate checking the mail. Perhaps this stems from the years of opening it to find only the depressing credit card bills in there. Now its just the depressing EOB's from the insurance telling us what our responsibility is.

Pretty sure the wind is blowing so hard right now it just knocked out the satellite signal. If I miss Wife Swap tonight, someone's gonna pay.

Speaking of Wife Swap, did anyone see the episode with the angry British guy? Ouch.

The Hubband & I got married on my 21st birthday. I wanted to make sure he could never forget either important occasion.

The neglected blog

Geesh. I've been here, just brain dead.

In the past 6 weeks, we've managed to conquer colic, quit nursing, get through a family-wide cold, yet another ear infection for Miss C, pneumonia for Roobaby, & getting my last 2 wisdom teeth pulled.

Colic: Not sad to see you go! It was like a little switch just flipped in Roo's brain. And within a week of getting past colic, I started to dry up. We were back to nursing every hour-hour & a half during the day & every two hours at night. There was much pacing & rocking & pacing & shushing & hey-did I mention the pacing? I've got a mini racetrack imprinted on my living room floor. There was even a 5am drive around town to get him to fall asleep.

And this all happened at the same time all four of us were sick. So, back to the doctor we went. Let me start by saying that in one week, we were at a doctor's office three days in a row. First for Roo's 4 month checkup & Bear's possible (and confirmed) double ear infection. The next day it was off to the orthopedist for Roo's follow-up on his hips. Then on Thursday, it was back to the doctor because he was running a 102.3. After countless peeks in his ears, a set of chest x-rays & a consult with a pediatric radiologist, early stage pneumonia it was.

One frantic phone call to Hubband later, Bear was sitting in the pharmacy at Wal-Mart with him while I took Roo to the hospital for bloodwork. Thankfully, no RSV to add on top of all of this. Add in a round of antibiotics & a second set of chest x-rays & one week later he was good to go. I'm pretty sure we've already met our deductible for the year :)

Two weeks later, it's off to the dentist for me to have my final two wisdom teeth pulled. Holy hell. If the first two had been like this, no way would I have EVER willingly sat in that chair again. Throwing up, bone fragments, dry sockets, having my gum packed-another miserable two weeks. Now add into all the medical excitement, Bear's appointment with the ENT. Bet you can't guess where this one is going...yep, tubes at the end of the month.

Oh! And the drying up. It sucked. At least it was over fast though. I was an emotional wreck about it, alternating between lets do the formula & get it over with back to nooo, I can't give up the nursing! He was not happy about it. And he chose to prove this to me by not willingly taking a bottle for THIRTY HOURS straight. I would have to wait until he fell asleep & sneak the bottle in his mouth, where he would proceed to drink about 2oz before he woke up & got pissed all over again. The first week we were on formula, he woke up every.two.hours. to eat. After about a week, we realized regular formula wasn't agreeing with him. Messy red poops almost had us back at the doctor, yet again. We've switched him to soy, though, & I still can't get over what a 180 his attitude did now that the poor guy knows what it feels like to have a full tummy. We have good naps! Bedtime is...better. He's still waking every 4-5hrs to eat but it will get better. And not only is he chugging about 26-30oz a day (can we say oooiiiiiiink?) but he's eating some foods now, too. I don't know if you've ever had a baby on soy formula but it makes it hard for them to go. He was having adult poops, not the gummy poops you expect to see from a baby. So a few nights ago I picked up a jar of prunes to try out, not expecting much luck. He ate half a jar the first night! Again, with me now...oooiiinnnkkk! This kid will now eat about a jar & a half of baby food a day.

So. That's where the past 6 weeks have gone for me. Add in 2 snowstorms, an ice storm, a 4hr drive to my sister's for Christmas with my dad & his wife, 2 sick kids that weekend, and countless requests from family for me to pack up the kids & make the 2 hour drive to see them because they are too busy/overwhelmed/(ahem-lazy) to make the drive to see us, & I can see how we're already in the middle of February.

Oh-and a late happy birthday to my old man, who turned 26 this week. Yikes-that means 25 is 4 short months away for me. 25...the hump of your 20's! You're no longer a young 20 something but rather on the downhill slide to 30 :)