Thankful

Except you'll have to go here: Momma Says, to read it.

After a nice run, Blogger & I have decided to end our relationship. Wordpress wooed me & you can find me there from here on out. Please update your readers & bookmarks! I'll shut this one down completely in a few weeks.

Having two hands is overrated

If only that were true. I am hunting & pecking my way across the keyboard. All I need is a pair of glasses perched on my nose & I'm like your grampa, trying to figure out this new fangled keyboard thing ovah-heah.

I was told the surgery was nothing, not a big deal. Let me tell you. For me? It was a big deal. Anything that involves hospital clothing & an IV is a big deal. Having the anesthesiologist make jokes at your expense is a big deal. My husband apparently gets a kick out of me making a fool of myself & he was all too happy to let me keep possession of my phone once the meds started kicking in. If you follow me on Twitter, you got a glimpse of what it would be like to go out drinking with me.

I'd entertain you with "druken" tweets for a while but dzmn does thzt med kick in fadt. And I dont know you well enough to shae my dronk

Once my sister called my attention to that, {which I never remembered sending}, I immediately handed my phone over.

The surgery went fine. They said the cyst was the size of a grape. I didn't get to take a picture of it, or even see it, because I was totally knocked out the entire time. The numbness they put in my arm was supposed to last 4-6hrs so Chase & I took our time, went & ate lunch & then were on our way across town so I could get a gallon sized coffee from Starbucks. And then, BAM, in about 2 minutes flat, all the numb wore off. So he sped home while I cursed like a sailor every time he hit a bump. And like a true junkie in need of a fix, I ripped open the pill bottle right there in the pharmacy & downed two pain pills.

My mom was here to take care of the kids & help me out since Chase had to work the next two days & I tool advantage of it, keeping up a steady diet of pain pills & chocolate, with lots of sleep mixed in. Saturday afternoon the pills suddenly revenged on me & instead of being all mellow & laid back, I went totally manic. Shaking, sweating, bouncing off the walls, crashing for 5 minutes & then starting all over again. I'm not a fan of pain pills in the 1st place. They make me itch like nobody's business & I don't like not feeling in control of myself. So for the last week, I've tried to control the pain with good 'ol Advil.

So how awesome is only having one usable hand? I've had to rely on Chase to wash my hair for me. Trying to dry & straighten it is miserable. It takes close to an hour, which is not cool, considering my hair is shorter than my 2 year old's. I have to take a bath with a bag taped over my hand. In the kid's tub, no less. The 1st morning, I sunk to a new low & had to holler at Chase to come shave my armpits for me. Now, if that isn't love & devotion, I'm not quite sure what is. I'm sick of eating quick fix meals because I can't cook anything that requires more than 3 steps, 1 hand & the thumb & index finger of my left hand.

I go back Friday & will hopefully be getting my stitches taken out. I really hope so, because I'm tired of getting kicked in the hand during a diaper change, having to unwrap my hand & remove all the gauze to make sure it didn't bust a stitch, & then re-wrap it. And you know, being able to cook, button my own pants, put on my own bra & drive with both hands will all be nice benefits, too.

And I really have the feeling that this post is kind of all over the place & hasn't really moved along smoothly, but I'm typing under the influence. I stretched my fingers out tonight on accident & pulled on my stitches really hard, so I caved & took a pain pill & it's really hit me hard.

{Oh & to prove just how time consuming doing everything with just.one.hand. is? It took me 53 minutes to type this little post. Frack.}

Dear Lump

Dear Louise the Lump:

Just a heads up. Tomorrow is your eviction day. You've stuck around for almost 4 months now.

I'm sure you've been hoping that I'd eventually grow fond of you. Wished that we'd become the best of friends. Obviously, we haven't.

You grow at a ridiculous rate. You are approximately 8 times the size you were when I first discovered you. You're like a little parasite, feeding on my finger, my nutrients, perhaps even my blood? You started out about the size of a piece of pea gravel. Now you are roughly the size of a small grape.

You are, to put it simply, annoying. I can't grip anything with any amount of strength or you start protesting. Any time I smack my hand on something, you scream in anger.

Honestly, I'm quite tired of you. And as much as I fear the block they'll be inserting in my armpit tomorrow morning, I'm relieved that you'll finally be gone. I am not looking forward to having my hand stitched & bandaged for two weeks, but if that's what it takes to get rid of you, I'll suffer.

Sincerely,
Cara


For those of you wondering what the frack I'm talking about...I have a ganglion cyst on my left middle finger. Conveniently, it is getting to the point where it is sometimes hard to bend my hand into a fist, so when I'm driving & that middle finger makes it's way into an upright position, I just say "Sorry, it has a mind of it's own!"

I was totally going to link to a picture of a ganglion cyst but all the ones I found? Just made me sick to my stomach. That was definitely the wrong thing to do the day before the surgery. Perhaps if I'm not feeling too grossed out when it's all over tomorrow I'll take a picture of it. Don't hold your breath, though.

Follow Friday

So every Friday, my TweetDeck explodes with "follow @so & so" all dang day. Ali took it a step further & brought it on over to the bloggy world & I'm jumpin' on her bandwagon.

Here's a list of people you need to check out like, yesterday. Seriously, why aren't you reading them already? It's ok, go ahead & click. I'll wait here. You can thank me later. Oh & I'm gonna be lame & only give you tiny hints as to why you should check them out. I like it when people are surprised.

1. Nerdy Jess: cupcakes, puppy faces & all around hilarity.
2. Caitlin: snark & baby love {for my bebes, of course}
3. Ashlee: randimosity, cute bebes & no shame in telling on herself
4. Ali: honesty, total "up-frontness" & general awesomeness
5. Casey: she tells great stories about her past & talks about her boobs
6. Bee & Rose: I just discovered her & I am a smitten kitten.
7. Cake Wrecks: because everyone deserves a laugh a day.
8. Craft Fail: I'm sick, I know, but I enjoy seeing that other people suck as much as I do.
9. Elephant Juice: Her bebe is adorable & she takes amazing pictures. And she's an incredible designer, too!
10. Finding Fairy Tales: warning: if you're offended by foul language...she is the wrong person for you!

That's it for today. 10 is plenty. So get reading. And then entertain the rest of us with your own Follow Friday & make sure to link up over at Ali's. GO!

Iz haz computer again

I finally got a laptop cord.

Oh. And we got rid of the dog.

Thanks to all who left comments/tweets etc. about how I would grow to love her, she'd make such a good companion & whatnot. Except I was in no way growing close to loving her. She wanted my companionship about as much as I wanted hers. My house was nothing but an enclosed yard to her.

Chase's uncle was more than happy to take her. He has a large yard outside of town where she's free to roam, another dog that she's already buddied up with, & no kids to compete with. After Chase left with the dog on Saturday, I immediately got my Mr(s). Clean on & began de-dogging the house. Vacuumed & shampooed carpets? Check. Swept & mopped floors? Check. De-haired living room furniture? Check.

And then? He came on Tuesday to help Chase map out our sprinkler system & brought the dog with him. And as soon as she was let into the house? She peed all over the floor. Like she was saying "Yeah, beesh, I'm still in charge. Just because I don't live here doesn't mean I'm alla the sudden gonna start respecting your carpet."

My sister also came up on Tuesday. Since she lives almost 5hrs away & is doing the nerd thing & planning on spending her entire 20s in school, earning one degree after another, we don't see each other much. Today we ventured into the big city {oh hai...can you see me rolling my eyes from here?} & hit up Target. I may or may not have a small obsession with that store. I made it out of the store only $17 broker {which may be a personal record} & with a tooth-achingly adorable box of chocolates. Want to hear just how awesome the chocolates really were? GO HERE.

And uh, people? No one told me just how freaking awesome TWO is. Why TWO & not two? Because the misery that TWO has been already warrants it's name being scuh-reamed. Yeah. But TWO is also a lot of fun. And in 6ish short weeks, Carter is going to be one. I'm having a much harder time with his 1st birthday than I did with Claire's.

Oh & if I normally comment you? I'm still reading, I promise. But when I do get to read your blogs, it's usually in like, 30 second chunks at various points throughout the day. So by the time I get to finish your blog? My mind's all dumb & stuff & I've already forgotten what I wanted to say to you. Still don't believe me that I've been reading?

• Casey got her tata's shrunken & then her doctor insisted on dressing her.
• Keely jumped out of a plane, got a new bed & found her colon a new best friend.
• Jenni became friends with Poison Control, found out that Poison Control doesn't like it when you make jokes about becoming good friends, & then finally proved to us that her kids are actually separate individuals & not, in fact, twins.
• Caiti took her dog to get chopped, turned 21 & came to visit the Beasty household.

Sure, there's been a lot more going on. Ali, Brandi, Ashlee, & Heather {to name a few} always give me something good to read. And I "met" a lot of new blogger/twitter friends thanks to BHAH09-or as Casey called it "the bloghippityhop". If you stopped by & I haven't come over to your place yet, I'm sorry. There's something about chasing around the two Beastlets & trying to return my house to a dogless state, all the while doing the normal day to day stuff, that makes it hard for me to get everything done online that I want to.

So, eventually, some day, hopefully, ok, don't hold your breath {holy crazy comma usage}, I'll get back to get everything accomplished that I want to. And I'll get that new blog set up that I mentioned before. And if you choose to keep holding your breath? I'm not responsible for the outcome. Just sayin'.

BHAH-09

BHAH...doesn't that sound like some sort of interrupted laugh?

Seriously, though. If you're stopping by from PrincessJenn & Nic's awesome idea, BlogHerAtHome, welcome!

A little about me...I met the love of my life when we lived in the dorms, one floor apart. I followed him through a change in majors, a move across the state where I knew no one & had no job, got married & took on a redonk amount of student loan debt, intended to put off having kids til he graduated college, had a surprise pregnancy & miscarriage, decided to get pregnant with Claire, quit my job, moved again, had another surprise pregnancy {yes, I do know what birth control is & yes, I was taking it both times we were surprised}, he graduated, we moved again & then we welcomed Carter.

We live in Kansas, where Chase is a pharmacist with a big box store. It's one that everyone loves to hate. It's definitely not my favorite place to shop but seeing as how we live an hour away from the smallest "big city" in the state, my options are limited.

Claire {often referred to on here as Bear or Beastlet 1} just turned 2 & is sprinting towards 16 already. She {unfortunately} at times has the mouth of a sailor-totally my fault. She's independent, sassy, out-spoken...everything I've always wanted my daughter to be.

Carter {Roo, fat-man, baby-man, Beastlet 2...} will be one on September 11th. This kid is full of surprises. Everything about him, from getting pregnant to not knowing what each day with him will be like, is a surprise. He is the true definition of a momma's boy, has the gummiest grin you've ever seen, & could kick your babies' butt in a speed-crawling contest. And that's no small beans, considering he didn't' start crawling til he was 9 months old.

I'm a stay-at-home mom, husband keeper, life planner, schedule maker, grocery shopper, butt wiper, booger picker, chauffeur, cup maker, hot dog cutter, boo-boo kisser, hair comber & diaper changer extraordinaire. I'm 25, never graduated college, have always held mediocre jobs. I'm not incredibly talented at any one thing. I have lots of interests but can't seem to find the time in the day to pursue them all. I can't survive the day without a cup of coffee, I'm way too bitter that the closest Starbucks is 45 minutes away, I'm addicted to online shopping because it's too hard to wrangle my kids in a store, I like Twitter & FaceBook, probably a little too much & I hate to shave my legs.

{And apparently I'm incredibly gullible, as well. I just got back from being convinced to buy some kids books from one of those door to door salesmen. Not only did he leave my house with myChase's hard earned moolah, he also left with an apple, an orange, & a juice box because he told me he hadn't eaten all day. Gah.}

So there you have it. A brief overview, in 500 words or less. Stick around & you'll find out more about life in the Beasty household.

The start of something new...

Hello, bloggy loves...

I have really missed you the past 2 weeks.

Let's just say dummy dog is in the process of finding a new home. I am NOT a dog person, never have been, never will be. I can officially subtract 4 shoes from my meager shoe wardrobe. Notice I did not say 4 {pair} of shoes, because that would be too easy for the dog. Nay. She only destroyed one shoe from each pair. Methinks she's smarter than she lets on.

I have spent more time scrubbing pee & poop out of my carpet in the last 6 weeks of having a dog than I have in 26 months of being a parent.

The dog makes sure to go out of her way every.single.day to make sure & remind me that I am not her "person". I take her outside to do her biz & am lucky if she goes 1 out of 5 times. We come back inside, she immediately either pees on the carpet or waits until I put her out on the deck for her food & water, makes sure I'm not watching her, & then drops a big steaming load out there. The final straw was when I called her to go outside on Friday, she ran to the door to meet me & as soon as she stepped on the tile, looked at me & whizzed all over the place.

That dog? Knows how to push my buttons.

Long, long ago, I blogged about Bear dumping an entire box of Trix on my floor & what the vacuum looked like with a pound of fruity little balls inside of it. {heh...fruity little balls} I must have deleted the post because I can't find it. And I'm guessing the picture is on my laptop, because it's not on the trusty 'ol dinosaur. Anyways. The point being, Bear demonstrated her massive, super-baby guns {yes, she knows what her guns are & loves to kiss them}, dragged a 20lb bag of dog food into the living room & proceeded to spread it from one corner to the other.

Do you have any clue just how much food is in a 20lb bag? Do you have any clue how BAD it smells?

Let me enlighten you, my friends.

{A: food spread across the floor. B: In the vacuum. I'm guessing it was able to hold about 2lbs at a time.}



And just in case you didn't know...dog food in your vacuum makes your house smell disgusting. The end. And all that dog hair that got sucked up in the vacuum? Yes. Yes, I did just dump it all back into the bag. She licks herself all the time anyways, so a little extra fur won't hurt her too bad.

At least it wasn't the redonkulously expensive food that I have to drive FORTY MILES to buy for her. It's either drive 40 miles & pay $42 for a 25lb bag of food or continue to use my carpet shampooer multiple times a day to get diarrhea off of my carpet {you know, since she refuses to use the bathroom out in the yard & likes to hide in either the kids' room or playroom}.

OK, so anyways. Besides the beastlets growing up too fast, the dog chewing up my laptop cord, not being able to sit down at the desktop & blog lately, & finding the dog a new home, something else is about to change. In two phases.

{First} I am taking Momma Says & jumping ship. No more of Blogger's dirty little shenanigans for moi. I'm tired of wondering what happened to all of my wonderful bloggy loves, going off to search for them, only to find that hey, they posted 3 times this week but Blogger & her dirty little wench, Google Reader, have yet to update & let me know I've got more reading material. The actual move & new design is still in the works & it may not happen for a few weeks, but I'll let you know when it's all said & done.

{Second} I'm going to do a little spin-off from Momma Says. Sure, over here on Momma Says I enjoy writing about life in the Beasty household, about what Bear said or did, who pooped on the floor this week, what Crazy Neighbor did today. Lately I've really gotten in to trying out new recipes, making homemade breads, cloth diapering; we all know my love for my homemade laundry detergent & I've been nosing around, trying to find the most effective homemade household cleaner. So when I get the spin-off up & running, it will address these things. Reviews of what I've done around the house & what worked {or didn't} for the Beasty household. I'll be open to taking suggestions-what have you tried that you think I should? Is there something you want to try but you don't want to invest the time or money into it, not knowing if it's worth it? If it's reasonably priced & not ridiculously time consuming, and if you sweet talk me enough, you could quite possibly convince me to try the product out for you & tell you what I think.

So thanks, everyone, for being patient & forgiving the last few weeks while I've been MIA over here at Momma Says. The sooner dummy dog gets out of here & the sooner I can get a new laptop cord, the sooner I'll be back to your regularly scheduled sarcasm & embarrassment. And I hope you'll all stick with me through the transition to a new site & the creation of a new blog.

**********

OK, so it's been a whopping 10 minutes since I hit publish & I'm already back for an edit. And it's an exciting one!

My amazing bloggy buddy, Ali {who can be found over at My Life With Them} got ahold of me & said she wanted to help with the new blog. YES! Let me tell you something. Ali will NOT disappoint! She's become one of my best online buds & I seriously cannot wait to meet her IRL at BlogHer '10!

OH HAI Internets

Oh HAI Blog! I've missed you!

Where have I been, you ask? Why have I neglected you? you want to know?

'Ol Dummy Dog decided my laptop charger made a tasty post-breakfast snack.

I looked down to see the Roo-Monster holding a 2ft piece in his hands, waving it around like a lasso.

Sure, sure, I have the trusty 'ol desktop to get me through these hard times. But the kids? They disagree. I try to sit down in the warm, cushy chair to devote some attention to you but they want nothing to do with it.

I sit down, I type a few loving words to you, try to get you to forgive me for abandoning you. And then the leg pulling & hand slapping starts. Sticky little fingers try to sneak their way up here, to try & claim their stake on my time. They try to let you know, sweet little blog, that they are really the ones in charge, the ones who deserve every ounce of my attention.

So blog, can you please forgive me? One of these days, during naptime, I'll try my hardest to sneak in here & share my deep, dark secrets with you, a la "Dear Diary".

Love,
Cara

Sir Google says...

And here we go...10 search terms that have brought people to my blog.

• "how to get diarrhea"
  
• "giving yourself diarrhea"
  
• "how to get diarrhea purposely"
  
• "kate gosselyn is a bitch"
  
• "ouch 8 cavities"
  
• "pooch says momma"
  
• "the sick child roo"
  
• "pedicure giggling"
  
• "for the love of tile"
  
• "circumcision baby"
  

Each & every one of those things shows up on the hits at least 3 times.

Diarrhea. Huh. Apparently, quite a few people apparently don't appreciate regular, normal poops & WANT to subject themselves to the torture of anal explosions.

Heh. I wonder how long it will take someone to Google "anal explosions" & be brought here.

Pooch says momma? That one just makes no sense to me. I can't even come up with a reason that searching those terms would bring you here.

For the love of tile...that one sounds like something your straightlaced Granny-who wears her hair in a bun & sits on her front porch in the rocker with a mint julep in hand-would shout as she stubbed her toe. "For the love of tile! That one hurt!"

I do believe the Katezilla search is pretty self explanatory...

Circumsion searches I can get. I probably disappointed whoever was reading up on it though. And "the sick baby Roo"? Perhaps they were searching for a story about a baby kangaroo? Heck if I know.

And lastly. Pedicure giggling. Perhaps some insecure 1st time pedi-goer who is worried that her feet are so sensitive she'll bust out in laughter? I feel your pain, honey. Or maybe you, too, encountered a 400lb brute arriving for their bi-monthly manlycure & you wanted to see if anyone else had any good stories?

So there it is. A few of my favorite search terms. I'll let you know if I ever get a hit on "anal explosions."

What. The. Eff. (The one where I tell you how to induce diarrhea)

Seriously, ya'll?

SERIOUSLY?

Someone from La Grange, Illinois found my blog by Googling the following phrase:

"How to get diarrhea purposely".

HUH? Why would you want to purposely give yourself diarrhea?

Dear reader, in Illinois, why would you Google that???

Because, really. The answer is so simple & one not need the internet to achieve that goal.

Go eat some Chinese buffet.

The end.

Around the World in 80 Clicks

The lovely Jenni from Oscarelli tagged me for the Around the World in 80 Clicks meme. The idea is to link mommy bloggers all over the world in a kind of virtual, international play date.

The rules are to list five things you love about parenthood and link back to the meme's authors, Catherine at Her Bad Mother and David at It's Not a Lecture so they know you need to be added to the departure lounge. Then, you need to tag five other mommy bloggers, some from your country and some from others. David is hooking everyone up - see the HBM post I've linked to above for details.

So, without further ado...here are my 5:

• I love how no one else can comfort my babes like I can. Picking them up, holding them tight & having them snuggle their faces into my shoulder like it is the safest place in the world makes my heart smile. Knowing that just the simple act of holding them, patting their back & whispering a few sweet words into their ear can turn things around for them is a gratifying feeling.
  
• I adore chunky, dimply baby butts. With two under two, I get my fill of baby butts on a daily basis. Bear is cursed blessed with the cutest little baby bubble butt you've ever seen. Roo, who has been a grumpy old man since the day he was born, has the teeny tiny 'ol man hiney to accompany the personality.
  
• Cuddles & kisses. Both babes co-slept for their first few months. There is absolutely nothing in the world like having a warm little bundle snuggled into your arms, hearing that contented sigh, & having that tiny little fist sputter around until it lands on your cheek to give you a loving stroke. And when they learn to reciprocate (or even initiate) a slobbery little kiss? It makes my day.
  
• I love how motherhood has changed me, inside & out. It's made me stop to appreciate the little things, made the "big picture" snap into focus, hold those closest a little closer. It's made me appreciate myself, my strengths & weaknesses, more than I had ever done in the past. It's made me appreciate the generations of mothers before me, their hard work, sacrifice, & unconditional love for their own children.
  
• Lastly, I love how motherhood has changed my relationship with the Doctor. We had an amazing marriage before the babes but now? I don't know that I could put words on paper as to how I feel about my husband & the bond we have. I was once told to think long & hard about when having children would "be right" for our relationship because adding to the family dynamics can make or break a relationship. Not that I ever doubted our relationship, but bringing these two beauties into our lives has definitely "made" us.
  

And now for my 5:

• Denise at A Cautionary Talespin
  
• Kyooty at KyootyCenter
  
• Ali at Momma Ali
  
• Peggy at Stir Crazy in the Suburbs
  
• Beth at Momma Bear
  

Newsey news

Soooo...I promised some news.

How many of you tried to guess & thought, "Hmmm...is there a #3 on the way?"

If that was you-please sit back down & say 10 Hail Mary's & ask for forgivness for thinking such a wretched thought.

OK. Kidding. Having a #3 wouldn't be wretched, it would just be damn hard. And I am in no way, shape, or form ready for that to happen. Ask me again in 5 years.

Although Hubband would tell you differently. I still haven't sold him on the idea. Right now, he's so anti-#3 that, on average, once a month he offers to go get the "Big V."

Anyways. Back on topic.

In two weeks, we will officially be the proud owners of this:


Our first home! I'm just a little excited.

Right now it's a 3-bedroom, 2 bath. Right now? Yep, right now. It has an unfinished basement that has the potential to be an additional 1577sqft of living space. Eventually there will be an office, bathroom, 1 extra bedroom, & a 2nd living area down there.

And, uh, Kansas? WTH is up with the siding/brick combo? Can you not just pick one?

You think I'm kidding. But seriously. It is almost impossible to find a house that is completely one or the other here. Not that I'm really complaining about it, but I'm used to houses that are, well, one or the other.

So if everything goes well, we should close in 2 weeks. Then the fun sets in. How very convenient er, unfortunate for me that I will be out of town the weekend that we move, thus leaving Hubband to do all the heavy lifting himself.

And yes, we've Chase has already started packing. He won't have another weekend off until the move so he wanted to take advantage of it. Which really means, we cleaned out the desk area & packed up the playroom & then picked up the rest of the house.

Because the guys next door are drinking beer & grilling. And, honey? I'm really hungry. And I'm still annoyed from our shopping trip today, so I'm just going to go have a beer or two or twelve. And I mean, if you wanna just relax & take it easy, that's cool with me, too.

Oh, annoyed from our shopping trip? Puh-lease, Hubband. You have balls (well, I mean, yes, in fact, you do) to tell ME that YOU are annoyed.

Somehow "You can pick out whatever you like for the living room, dining room, & kitchen" turned into:

(H)"What kind of fridge should we get?" (me) "I don't care, as long as it's black so that it matches the rest of the appliances." (H)"OK. I like this stainless steel one."

(H)"What kind of living room furniture are you wanting?" (me) "A leather sectional. And no recliner. I'm seriously over recliners." (H)"Sounds good, lets go look." (me) "That one! That's the sectional I want." (H)"Huh. Nah. I'm really liking that motion furniture. You know, the ones where the recliners are built into it?" (me)"No recliners. We'll look for a chair & ottoman to match, but no recliners." (H)"Oh wow! I think this it! Have a seat, it's so comfortable!" (As he dies & goes to Heaven whilst in a couch with a recliner built into it.)

Soooo...we're at a standstill with the furniture shopping. Rest assured, though. I WILL get my way.

Naptime Randomness

It's 6:30pm & both kids are still asleep. So much for normal bedtimes tonight.

Do you think racecar drivers have a hard time obeying the speed limit?

I do what is called the "6 o'clock mad-dash" at my house. Hubband gets home about 7:15, so around 6:00pm I clean up as fast as I can. Never fails to amaze me that if I just vacuum & have a basket of clean laundry on the couch, I get a "wow, looks like you got a lot done today!"

Uhhh...is it spring yet? I'm seriously over winter.

I say seriously a lot. Not just when blogging/emailing but when I'm talking too. It seriously annoys the Hubband.

One time, not long after Roo was born, I went for a month without shaving my legs. It was bad. The time it took when I finally shaved wasn't worth the time I saved during that month.

I caught Bear-wait for it-licking pee off her hands last night. She was running around with no pants because I've been trying to introduce her to the potty. I walked back into the living room & noticed her hands were wet. It went something like this: "Bear-what is on your hands?" Bear gives me a silly grin. "Bear, did you pee pee?" "See Momma?" Sticks her hands back in the potty & before I can stop her, sticks them in her mouth. I look in the potty. It's half full.

While we're talking about pee. One time not long after Roo was born & I was still in a super sleep deprived state (as opposed to somewhat sleep deprived state I live in now), after I brushed my teeth I grabbed the washcloth sitting on the vanity & wiped my mouth. And then realized it was the same washcloth the Hubband had used to dry out the inside of the potty the night before. True story.

When I was pregnant-both times-I ate ramen noodles for lunch almost every day.

I hate the dentist. And pregnancy hates my teeth. Being pregnant with Bear gave me 8 cavities. Roo gave me 5 more. 13 cavities in 2 years. Suck.

Remember how I hate the dentist? I bit him one time when I was getting cavities filled. Not on purpose.

I'm in no hurry to get Roo out of our bed. Bear wasn't a snuggler & wanted to be in her own bed when she was about 3 months old. There's just something about having him snuggle up next to me & play with my hair.

I'm one of those people who views the speed limit sign as a mere suggestion. As in-we suggest you go no slower than 65mph. Apparently my thinking is backwards here in good 'ol Kansas. Drivers here also view it as a suggestion, but more along the lines of-we suggest you get nowhere NEAR 65mph. Bad things will happen. We suggest you set your cruise at 55mph & hey, while we're at it? Passing is bad, mmmmkay?

I hate checking the mail. Perhaps this stems from the years of opening it to find only the depressing credit card bills in there. Now its just the depressing EOB's from the insurance telling us what our responsibility is.

Pretty sure the wind is blowing so hard right now it just knocked out the satellite signal. If I miss Wife Swap tonight, someone's gonna pay.

Speaking of Wife Swap, did anyone see the episode with the angry British guy? Ouch.

The Hubband & I got married on my 21st birthday. I wanted to make sure he could never forget either important occasion.